Divine.Blueprints

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!!

2009-04-01T05:19:00.000+08:00

rain.

2009-03-26T05:31:00.000+08:00

i like rain.

it’s beautiful. droplets of life kissing the face of the planet.

satisfying every thirsty soul, restoring every parched areas.

rain. it’s a beautiful display of grace and blessing.

so much power and so much life is found in each drop of water. yet with the amount of power and strength found in each cloud, it’s power is diffused into tiny droplets that gently scatter across the thirsty planet; even so meekly and softly that even the tiny flower is not harmed.

imagine if God gave all his blessings in one shot. It’ll be like one huge mass of water falling on earth - crushing everything in it’s path.

but God is gracious; when He gives - he gives little by little; step by step, meekly and conscientiously as if it’s personal and precise.

but it is personal and precise; your DaddyGod gives his blessings with you in his mind. every lovely moment, every single thing that brings a smile to your face and tears of joy in your eyes is purposed by God.

Purposed; His deliberate desire to make you happy.

That’s your servant-King, and MY servant-King. The God-man Jesus wearing the golden girdle.

You ask me what brings God most joy?

No, not worship, and words of praise, not rites and sacrifices.

But I dare say - whenever you smile, whenever you’re happy, whenever you grin back at your Father God giving him a huge hug and a kiss of thanks.

You are God’s most celebrated creation and His most loved child whom he deliberately blesses.

Strawberry Fields Forever

2009-03-20T06:36:00.000+08:00

I've ALWAYS remembered The Beatles being cool school boys playing hits like 'Can't Buy me Love' and 'I Get By with a Little from My Friends'

But Strawberry Fields Forever and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds are so NOT school boys.

They are wayyyy psychedelic. :D

The songs sound really dope-y, as though you can high on the musical notes. haha.

Ok this is totally random.

it's funny because.

2009-03-19T21:35:00.000+08:00

I don't care if there is any sentient lifeforms outside my planet.

I don't care how absurd it sounds that my planet is the only one that supports life and HAS life.

I don't care what the skeptics say.

Jesus came to my planet, lived as a human. And died for MY sins.

I don't know about any Martian, Kree or Skrull... But I'm just thankful that I'm forgiven and given a new lease of life.

I rather be obsessed with my Saviour than apparitions in the Sky.

Unless it's Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. heh go figure.

i wanna shout it out, from every roof top sing..

2008-10-09T07:51:00.000+08:00

OMG OMG OMG

OMG OMG OMG

OMG OMG OMG

OMG OMG OMG.

I can't believe how blessed i am...

I just got promoted. My pay rise is coming this sunday.

Yesterday Grandpapa gave me a large sum of money.

So far everything's been smooth sailing at work, home,
ministry, school...

I'm rushing for my school project which is due tomorrow but
inspiration is flooding me like never before...

and my earnest prayer for brothers? Answered, i
believe K and JZ are Godsent, one who boldly stuck with me and
listened, and the other's watching my back... God didn't give me wimpy
hen-pecked brothers... He gave bold mighty men - commando brothers and
bros... i totally appreciate you men..

esp you Jz, that sms blew my mind and humbled me mans... I
believe that you've got my back, that's Jesus in you mans... I can grow
up steady without worrying what's gonna surprise me from behind.

i don't understand why just so much good is happening to me, i
can't attribute it to anything i've done, not even my giving to
One-North, though i believe by sowing i get return...

but I know that this unbelievable, undeserved, unheard of,
unmerited, unimaginable goodness is purely by virtue of my beloved
daddyGod's love for me...

i'm his son, not his servant boy... and all things good come
from my father...

daddyGod let everyday be a mindblowing day of your goodness
leh.. i'm thrilled leh.. knowing the crap of a week i had, the stupid
things i've done, the mistakes made and to rubbish spoken STILL you
love me.. STILL you'll bless me...

This. I declare is GRACE.

I don't what verse to quote and what doctrine to refer from
but i am convinced that i've had an close encounter with Jesus and i've
touched his grace.

nuff said mans. WOW.

Everyday dad, everyday like this would be wonderful. (:

the phone.. it bites!

2008-10-02T06:39:00.000+08:00

just a side note...

ARGHHHHH.... sometimes being a Personal Assistant to a
Commanding Officer can be such a pain. Just because you can't contact
my boss means i'm next in the firing squad...

I'm no telemarketer but i can sense a complain over the
phone.. and my this one's the most aggressive and biting yet... (no
wonder i jump everytime i get a phone call at my desk... you never know
who's calling, besides my boss and colleague call my hp when they are
looking for me)

Thanks God for wisdom and grace la... I could answer her
difficult questions without fliching.. I'll inform my boss about
this... (yes, I muted my phone and prayed in tongues while she
complained.. it helps ALOT.. note, people in the service line...)

but must this come to the point where i'm not only my boss
adminstrative assistant, runner, magician, logisitics officer,
designer, in house magizine committee member, SKW.. now i'm her PR
agent and spokesperson?

GOSH WHERE IS MY JD!!! I WANT TO KNOW MY RIGHTS...

oh yeah, right.. I DON'T HAVE A JD... what's up man? Even my
junior officers have a JD.. I'm holding a elastic JD mans... and I'm
not getting my promotion befitting the position!!

DaddyGod, remain not to find a job like this
outside.. There's not advancement, benefits or yada yada in this job...

and I'm done ranting... I had enough complains for the
month... lol...

Lord, you've increased my patience.. wow... today was a real
test.. :)

you are good...so good Jesus...

Hua Yi uber cool!

2008-09-23T12:46:00.000+08:00

if secular chinese songs have the ability to invoke strong emo
feelings... and make you very very emo...

then chineses CHRISTIAN songs have the ability to do the exact
opposite... they invoke hope.

secular chinese songs mostly have shades of hurt, break up,
unrequited love and many emo stuff (disclaimer: before the purist start
stoning me, thisis MY opinion, i listen to such sad songs.. okies? (: )

but christian chinese songs they can be as romantic as their secular
counterparts... take 'Peng You - Louis Teng version; for example... or
even take track 10 (Nailed on the Cross) from our church's hokkien
album for an example... you can feeell the love oozing out from those
songs yet the love is a fleeting sappy one.. It's the pure and strong
love of Christ...

Which reminds me.. 'Hold my hand' is a uber touching song... I remember
hearing about the eldery folks tearing when they first heard the song...

I love chinese worship songs mans...

他对我说，大蒙眷
爱的但以理阿，要明白我与你所说的话，

只管站起来，因为我现在奉差遣来到你这里。他对我说这话，

我便战战兢兢地立起来。 (Daniel 10:11 Chinese)

the long haul....

2008-09-22T06:59:00.000+08:00

running in circles, finding high and low

chasing our tails, what do we know?

you are seeking...never finding...

you are expecting, now you're fretting

once hoping, now crying.

the search never ends,

aren't you weary...

it's been awhile,

isn't it dreary?

when you're done searching

and you found nothing at all..

turn around and fret not

'cause it's not you who
found Love,

but Love who has found
you after all.

Lord, send me more brothers...

make them cross my path, cut my queue or bump into me..

Put able men, faithful men, men of honour in my fellowship...

Place them there - where I serve you..

Place them there - when I need you...

Open my eyes, guide my steps....

Give me more kopi sessions, evening jogs and fellowship - things which
i enjoy so much.

Restore, retrieve and renew... amen.

'Peng You' sung by Lous is playing on my computer now... The song
speaks of Jesus, the friend that sticks closer than a brother... one
who walks with you in the long haul....

朋
友不曾孤單過一聲朋友你會懂

peng you bu ceng gu dan guo yi sheng peng you ni hui dong

還
有傷還有痛還要走還有我, 耶稣

hai you shang hai you tong hai yao zou hai you wo, ye shu

If there's any brother who is sticking with me today.. it'll be first -
Jesus.

can i invite you to be a brother as well?

you did know??

2008-09-18T13:16:00.000+08:00

apple's dirty little secret...

bet steve Jobs is in the retro mood eh? (:

why?

2008-09-17T11:38:00.000+08:00

explicit content ahead...you have been warned.....

I really don't understand why....i really really don't...

How do they timed automated flushes so quickly?

I barely stood up and *phish* the toilet bowl flushed....

What kind of sensors did they install on those things???

I bet this was their programming...

on'butt_leaves_seat" runProgram='flush'

evil toilet bowl makers... scheming to make unsuspecting butts wet...

I'm writing a new staff suggestion...

MAKE TOILET BOWLS FLUSH SLOWER!!!

ok.. told you it was kinda explicit... but don't you agree?

what's your take? :)

God, dreams and writing

2008-09-17T09:26:00.000+08:00

everyone has a story to
tell, and everyone who's a christian would tell you theirs.

and i'm sure christians
recognise the touch of a loving God, that's why they are saved! (:

if life was awesome and
hurts and pain are non-existent why would i need a God to 'save' me -
rather if things were perfect, I wouldn't recognise God because
wouldn't i be like Him - perfect?, now... i wouldn't need 'saving'
would i?

i like this part....alot.

I had this lengthy post at originally at wordpress... thought it'll be
nice to share it here..haha

God,
dreams and writing

i really want to try my hand in writing one day.

like i want to write and publish a
book... i want to see the book on shelves

and i hope that book makes not only sense - but changes lives.

and if it's possible, i'll love to make my book into a film. (:

it's been for the longest time my childhood dream to produce a
film - a tear jerker, a inspiration, a epiphany producing, love
inducing, life changing film.

I remember i used to share this alot:

"I want to be the first successful singaporean christian film
director/producer, being better than even Mel Gibson and making a film
more phenomenal than 'The Passion of Christ' "

Nothing wrong with Mr. Gibson and the Passion... i love that
film and it was because of this film i decided to do something huge,
bigger than it.. and impact lives in the process...

i dreamt of travelling to places just to shoot my films.

i dreamt of emails telling me that my film touched them.

i dreamt of pastors telling me that the film made them pastors.

i dreamt of enjoying life knowing God is good. and i get to share that
with people.

oh, i've always dreamt of having my own concert and having an
altar call at that concert!

i even know what i wanna say to invite the non believers...
but... i'll leave that for another time...

i'm still into the moonwalking
mood... can't stop thinking about it...

i like what i read from jz, john shore, s and c.

it's still in my head. the topic of dreams.

and i convinced and convicted that dreams are godly stuff.

honestly, being christian isn't going to church.

church is NOT God. christianity is not a label, brand or a model number.

church is home, christianity is who i am
not what
i am - ah, there's a difference.

I am not what i wear. but i wear what i like. (:

and christianity isn't pop culture or a nice nifty jacket i
wear to fit in...

everyone has a story to tell, and everyone who's a christian
would tell you theirs.

and i'm sure christians recognise the touch of a loving God, that's why
they are saved! (:

if life was awesome and hurts and pain are non-existent why would i
need a God to 'save' me - rather if things were perfect, I wouldn't
recognise God because wouldn't i be like Him - perfect?, now... i
wouldn't need 'saving' would i?

because i'm welcomed to 'Le real world'... I know i
can't fix things, i know i have that irritating quirk, that temper,
that 'i-can't-help-it' personality which you may feel adverse to.

that is why i need a loving God to save
me from myself (and of course hurts, pain
and every nasty thing that make me holla - 'i hate life!')

I'm not on a sin crusade - i'm not hunting down every immoral
behaviour i've commited - i just want to dream again.

i want to change. and Jesus with the cross gave me a chance to
be who i wanna be.

freed.

today, i can firmly look at you in the eye and tell you i
believe in moon
walking and life changing because i am freed by my own fear
of my God given glory, freed from my limited capabilities and every
snare and trap and dart that tries to dash my hopes, kill my dreams and
bring me down, i am freed to dream.

because there are things, people, circumstances, moods, fears,
nasty things that aims to discourage me EVERY SINGLE freaking day in my
life - i NEED God.

because i can't. He can.

and to the skeptics, rationals and atheist - you know
Jesus died for you too?

He made us all free. He freed us all much to the extent - He freed you
enough to be able to reject Him.

"Whoever the Son sets free is free indeed" - there, that's in
the bible. You are free, free to rationalise, free to fight your own
demon and your own battles.

You are so free you can walk out on a good offer such as...
let me spell it out for you: h-e-l-p, help.

He freed me so that i can choose Him once again - freed me so
that He can win me over like how a the heart of Rose is won
over by Jack.

He freed me so that i can, with my own lips and own will say i
love Him too.

that's why i dare dream - God loves me, what can
nasty things do to me?

i dare you to moon walk with me too. get off your dashed hopes
and regrets and finally do something irrational, something insane and
crazy like dreaming.

"follow me" said Jesus. And rough, gruff fishermen dropped
their nets and followed Him even if they didn't know where they're
going. They left the safe and the rational and followed a dream so
massive, so mind blowing and crazy like saving the world.

because the man they followed?

was God.

the green cheese.

2008-09-16T05:57:00.000+08:00

i remember a time where i had this famous line….

dream big, don’t be afraid to dream - after all it was a dream that put
man on the moon.

well, that sounded reallllyyy encouraging back then, it has a major
score for people who like to day dream like me.

someone had to burst our bubble. some conspiracy theorist had to debunk
that and tell us that the fella on tv wasn’t walking on the moon - He
was walking around somewhere in Arizona!

and so that's how this [Moon-walker]
came about..

i'm not about to let my wheel stay square and leave my foot prints only
in the soils of Bangkit and Bukit Timah.

i'm gonna dance on Everest and jiggle in the moon.

i'm gonna show you that God exist and He made me.

and dreams still come true. (:

Daniel...and his prayer.. (:

2008-09-15T08:27:00.000+08:00

i like what pastor preached last sunday...

elijah...daniel....himself...all about prayer..

my eyes lit up when i heard pastor share about daniel and his 'delayed'
prayer..because i remember that incident really well..

(that verse is very close to my heart..)

though pastor didn't mention a certain part which i'm about to share..
i really like how he delivered the verse to the people...

"God answers your prayer immediately! the moment you petiton in your
heart.. he hears and he has already provided an answer.. God listens to
the prayer in your heart not the prayer on your lips..."

what i really like about Daniel 10 (of which the story is found) is
this...

Daniel 10:11 NLT

And the man said to me, “Daniel, you
are very
precious to God, so listen carefully to what
I have to say to you. Stand up, for I have been sent to you.” When he
said this to me, I stood up, still trembling.

i've read this verse from a book quite some time back... and i was so
so so exciting..

i was like: "finally, something new and very personally intimate in the
bible!!!"

i know now why God answers my prayer IMMEDIATELY...

not because God has to be excellent (and He is
excellent)

not because God has to deliever good service.. and me being in the
police force.. we have the service quality pledge... and one of them is
delivering a fast response during emergencies and triple nine calls...
God does not have a 'service quality pledge' and his angels do not man
the 'prayer hotline'...

God answers your prayer because you are VERY PRECIOUS to God...and even
more.. YOU ARE GREATLY BELOVED TO GOD!

check out the olddd King James version..

"And he said unto me, O Daniel, a man greatly
beloved, understand the words that I speak unto thee, and
stand upright: for unto thee am I now sent. "

God isn't answering prayers because He has to...it isn't because of
"well....He is
God" and we are
the worshippers..thus He has to bless us so as to not 'lose face'...

God..DADDYGod does it because He loves us...

and oh.. Daniel slept too...when the angel appeared.. Daniel slept...

first reason.. the angel was very great.. he lost strength.. (Dan
10:8-9)

second reason.. i believe after fasting for three weeks.. it's easy to
lose strength....

but see how lovely daddyGod is to Daniel.. he put him to deep sleep
(Dan 10:9), He has answered our prayer a long time ago and even when we
don't believe and run around in circles 'praying hard' till run out of
tears and wails... He gives us the answer AND rest...and he wipes off
the tears too by gently reminding you that you are greatly beloved and
VERY precious to him..

I checked out the orginal hebrew for 'very precious' and it referred to
preciousness as in precious stones - GEMS.

It links back to the breastplate of Jesus our highpriest.. We are
greatly beloved, set upon his bosom..

wow wow wow.. it's so encouraging to realise my 'shooting' prayers
avail much.... The bible says the prayer of the righteous avails
much...it didn't say the LONG and LOUD prayers avails much..

It's simply praying BEING and KNOWING you are righteous BECAUSE of
Jesus' blood...make our prayer effective.. and avails much...

it's an identity kinda thing.. not a DOING and processes kinda thing :)
being not doing..

Praise God.. lovely thing to share about on a lovely monday morning..
Thank God it's monday!! (: hee..

i heart arrow camp zero 8.

2008-06-16T06:01:00.000+08:00

ELLO~! it's me!

haha mans it's been quite a hiatus from multiply mans.. I miss
multiply.. i shall return here once more...

HAHA... this is definitely not the usual.. "oh hi, im back from camp..
and I'm gonna blog about it like everyone else..."

But I am uber encouraged by EVERY post about camp... you know every
single one of your post about camp is very encouraging to me..

especially ceeeeleste's posts... haha I can't wait for part 20...haha..
(I knew it there WAS a category 2!!!)

firstly...i'll like to be very real mans... while camp ended on a high
note... haha come the evening when i'm on bed and thinking... I got
negative mans..

like really negative about leaving batam..coming back to S'pore and
having to start work again....haha.. I MISSED CAMP and
everyone else!! (:

HAHA talk about joy being stolen... Oh mans..haha i shall let myself be
robbed of my reward!!!! (: (:

So then I shall be happy...

hmms...planning for Arrow camp is a prayer answered and a dream come
true... haha Esther was uber encouraging during the ton on the last day
when she reminded me how we joined events at the first place...because
i kinda forgot how i enter the team at the first place.. I remember it
was after adventure camp.. I told Zhanyi that it'll be awesome if we
could serve for the next arrow camp...

who ever knew that the prayer was answered so soon... one simple bus
ride... one long convo with Esther...I didn't even realise that esther
was signing up for events...haha...estherrrrr you're such a blessing
la..haha.. i'm just glad that we stay in the same Village of Bukit
Panjang... i think it was that day when we spoke that we found out that
there was recuitment hor? and that was the day we joined the team. (:

Joining Events was really really a fresh breath of air... that last
time i served in a ops ministry was sound.. (of which i truly miss
being in..)

Since entering campus I've been serving in the pastoral ministry...
Ambs/Befrienders, Children's Church, CG... Being back in ops was really
fun and memorable..

and the best thing about serving Events for this camp? I get to be OPS
and PASTORAL all at the same time... Having tasked to compile the game
manuals and think out a station which is extremely Bible-based really
forced me to read my bible..of which i haven't opened for ages... I've
never read the bible so deeply finding questions for the bible quiz for
iHelp... and the game manuals... Reading them over and over again...
sending for the team to vet...re-reading them then...send to coach and
vonne to vet then re-read them again... I think i've memoried almost
all the games already especially the heart of the game..

and that was a portion from daddyGod that I really enjoy taking home...

And i'm sure every camp took home something from this camp..because
this camp was prayer-full...

and when something is prayerful.... it becomes POWERful.

Every morning.. during the server brief...Coach would lead us in
prayer.. I remember praying in tongue half asleep... my mind was dozing
off while my mouth was moving... it was amusing mans... but i believe
camp was a even greater success because the servers prayed and so did
the campers during morning quiet time.

God listens. and He performs. Knowing that touches me...

Now is the segment of happened behind the scenes...

I think many servers had shared about how things seemed to be bad yet
turned good in the end...

I've made mistakes on my part too! haha..

it was amazing how the logistics for my stations was completed nicely
during camp..haha.. I was ready to sleep late to finish my final touch
ups but God made time and gave people to help!! haha in the end.. the
station really did 'set itself up' haha...

Having mass activity shifted to the third day was a shocker to the
whole team..(it was funny how we re-enacted 'the door open and here's
some news' part)

but in the end.. ops for mass activity went smoothly and the POOL
PARTAE was a success!!! (:

There were many many little blessing i have not shared yet..haha I
still have many many to share...

but I'll just end of with this... the greatest blessing I recieve from
this camp wasn't the anointing, nor the calling to leadership, nor the
revelations, nor the good success of the camp, neither was it the
favour with everyone, nor the amazing message and building up of the
core of Arrow.

my greatest blessing and reward for serving was...

Friends.

Kingdom friends....

people like Yvonne, Alvin (Mr emcee), Clifton, Estherrrrr, Ceeeleeete
and the Kimchi Boyz, Clara Leong and Sim, Jansen (one of the hands for
the poly item), Eng Cheong, Jo!!, Kevin, Ron and many others...

the events team and the RSM team... I love them both!!..haha (now i
feel like part-timing in RSM haha)

If there any blessing that has eternal value to me it is people...

You know out of faith, hope and Love... Love is the greatest for a
reason?

Because God is love.... God is a father.. and daddy loves his kids..

Yeah, faith is important so is hope...but Love takes center-place....

I cannot bring my sermons and my fame and my money and my
'missions-work' and my possessions to heaven.

Nope.

But I can bring my friends with me to heaven....I can see them in
heaven...

You know in heaven I look forward to catching up with old friends and
having eternal fellowship wiht kingdom friends IN the kingdom of God...

I won't go to heaven talking about my accomplishments on Earth.. I'll
talk about the memories I had with my friends...

THAT i say is my reward of ETERNAL VALUE- kingdom friends.

The core of Arrow ministry in strong when everyone is in fellowship.

This camp to made is more than simply equipping the core with the words
and with vision...this camp is a camp that HAS equipped the youths with
the most powerful blessing - each other.. Like why Jesus sent out his
disciples in TWOs... Though they already had the holy spirit in them..
they are equipped with spiritual weapons and all...

but I believe Jesus had in his mind this - Your greatest equipment is
the person walking with you on your journey...You'll always remember
that I (Jesus) am near you when you simply fellowship with the person
beside you....(Thus love one another)

what is anointing when you have no friends...

what is calling when you can't share your joy with another...

what is a miracle when you testify only to your pet hamster?

Blessings have meaning when you fellowship with daddyGod's beloved. (:

haha I have a part two soon! (:

1 Corinthians 13 (The Message)

The Way of Love

1
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm
nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2If I speak God's Word with
power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day,
and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but
I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7If I give everything I own
to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I
don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I
believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

8-10Love
never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues
will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of
the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the
Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

11When
I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any
infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

12We
don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through
a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun
shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees
us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

13But
for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to
lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope
unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

the boy and his castle...

2008-04-23T07:46:00.000+08:00

My life is kinda like a visit by the beach.

I'm a little boy, armed with an assortment of buckets and shovels of
various size.. Each of an unique and individual usage.

But not all are compulsory, I may use the large bucket and forget about
the smallest one....and vise versa and smallest shovel is used and the
large one is kept.

I'm a small boy with a mission. An Architect with an undertaking. An
Civil engineer with charge.

To create a castle of sandy magnificence, a palace of granular
grandeur, a city by the beach.

So I build, I start with the bucket, upending it to construct a tower
and digging a moat around the mighty fort.

And so I call the nifty assemble of silicon - 'Fort Immanuel' named
after the creator, the small but creative craftsman.

But then a force greater than my own comes along. A force so great that
the castle walls cannot resist. The tide is rising. The creator smiles.

He anticipates the inevitable and welcomes the waves.

And so the end approaches, the boy is prepared.

And as his fort gets drawn away to the watery abyss, the boy claps and
cheers. It's end was a noble one. The fall was great yet honourable.

"An effort well-spent" Says the boy.

And as He continue watching his beloved castle sinking into it's moist
grave. He begins to stand up and reaches for his father's hand.

"Alright, Lets go home now." Says the Child to his
Father.

And so Father and Son return home. After a fruitful summers day by the
beautiful beach called life.

And on the the other side of the beach, a city bustling with activity.
A man is in his office in the middle of the prime area called life.

He builds his towers with stacks of projects. He digs moats though
taxes. And constructs walls of bank statements.

He's like the boy, determined. But unlike the boy; the man is harsh,
butual and bitter. His drive is anger and resentment. Whereas the boy
is driven by pure childish passion and ambition.

And so the tide gathers, the man ignores it. He avoids the inevitable
by sheer ignorance. He makes his defence though - Harden heart and
bitter bones. He prepares a scapegoat for blame.

The defence is feeble though. The end approachs and the waves hit,
dragging the castle into it's watery grave.

Unlike the boy, the man does not rejoices, He panics. And with
resentment he asks: "Is this what life has to offer me?"

Both builder of castles, both driven. But similarities cease when the
waves approaches.

The boy declares though his castle : "This is what I offered
to life! A fort!"

But the man laments though his rubble: "Is this what life
offered to me? A fault?!"

And so the man departs from the office and to a bar. Late
nights with sinful passions. He crumbles like a cookie. He gazes around
with a sly look, talking about the years that died and wasted and the
man binds himself with the wrong person. He finds out that He's a
father.

Whereas the boy departs from the beach and to the woods. Late nights
with joyful passions. He plays catch with his Dad, while chewing on his
cookie. They gaze at the sky, talking about the day's events and the
boy bonds with his Father.

My life is like the little boy, and I pray I do not end up like the man.

The castles in my life, I hold them dear. But they are not what life is
all about. The end is inevitable. Rejoice when trials come, they only
clean the whiteboard for me to write again.

I fall. I WILL fall. Like my castles will crumble. But I'll stand up
again.

PSLE, O' Levels, Diploma, Degrees - They're only sand castles, I build
them but they'll fade away.

Some castles and harder to build, some harder to fall. But they'll fall
no doubt.

So why should I despair when a tower falls.

Instead I should REJOICE! Although play-time is over. Daddy's gonna
bring me home. Daddy's will bring me to the beach another day to build
sand-castles again.

And the day in the beach is not just building castles. The joy of the
beach includes sand castles and waves but it's more that that. It's
about time spent with the ones you love.

The message behind this story?

The beach is life. Castles are accomplishments in your life. The wave
is the inevitable expiry date for all accomplishments and also include
your own expiry.

The father is Abba Daddy in heaven.

Play-time is seasons in life where you perform certain life changing
actions or accomplish certain goals.

Home is your secret life, also stands for heaven.

My point in this story is life is full of seasons, full of Ups and full
of Downs.

Hold dear to the Ups but don't bet your life on it. The bible says
guard thy heart for it is the spring of life. don't sell yourself
short. The 'Ups' in life have expiry dates. You can't ignore the
inevitable.

Yet don't not depise the downs, the whiteboard of your life may be
messed up right now. 'Downs' don't pull you lower, but instead cleans
the messed up board for a new and fresh plan. A New shot for a new
'life'. That is why God allows downs.

And as for the lament of the man in the story?

"Is this what life offered to me? A fault?!"

You can't take much out from life. but you can offer it something. Live
a life of significance, leave a mark on the 'beach'. You came to life
with nothing, You'll leave life with nothing. Life has little to offer
you but heart breaks and a roller-cooster ride.

But Jesus has everything to offer you. A trip home and a trip to the
beach together for a sand castle building session.

This time HE builds, you marvel. =)

Call of Duty 4

2008-04-04T06:20:00.000+08:00

wah...AH SOONNN!! let play Call of Duty 4 again!!! (: hahahaha..

He calls me..

2008-04-01T09:26:00.000+08:00

like how we were saved...

that's how we'll live out our calling...

we tend to forget don't we.. we were saved without our efforts in
play..

did I bleed for my own salvation?

it is Christ who died and more than that, is risen again interceding
for me... (Rom 8:34)

all I did was to believe in His blood that saves...

if this isn't clear enough..lets hear my good friend..Paul shouting...

id="en-NIV-en-MSG-12052">So, style="font-style: italic;">what do you think?
With God on our side like this, how
can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on
the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the
worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly
and freely do for us? And who
would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen?
Who would dare
even to point a finger? The One who died for
us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this
very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able
to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? style="font-weight: bold;">There is no way!
Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness,
not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed
in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they
hate you.

We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one
by one.

None of this fazes us
because Jesus loves us. I'm style="font-weight: bold;">absolutely convinced
that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or
tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can
get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master
has embraced us.

[Romans 8:31-39
MSG]

So, we believe Rom 8:28 right?

Look at what proceeds from verse 28.... there's Conviction..

We now know that all things WILL work out for good...so now we can
strongly be convicted and shout..

WHO IS HE WHO CONDEMNS? WHO WOULD DARE TANGLE WITH GOD'S CHOSEN....

WHO WOULD EVEN DARE TO POINT ONE
FINGER??

selah.

I don't see me playing any role to 'aid' in God's salvation plan...
Christ did everything FOR me... he took MY place..

so, I can trust him for his 'qara' to place me in the right place and
right time to live out my calling...

afterall...this calling thingy.. isn't Jesus the one calling? I don't
call out my own calling...

It is GOD's CALLING FOR me...not longer MY calling....

If God is not opening some doors for me.. need I knock down any? I just
need to go though those He HAD opened already...

If God doesn't build my ministry, I labour in vain...if God doesn't
watch over my ministry.... I keep watch in vain...

but I know that all things does work out for good what... If you really
take Grace radically... casting all religious seatbelts aside and
plunge into the 'unknown' grace.. You'll find out... that All things
had worked out for good even before we began... Like Pastor Prince once
mentioned.. "If you have a heart for God, He'll provide and prepare
everything for you..."

Even before Abraham climbed the mountain to sacrifice his only beloved
son... The ram was already on the other side, prepared for Abraham...

God has provided.. amen?

It is HIM who calls... (:

(: GRACE GRACE!

2008-03-31T05:50:00.000+08:00

hallelujah...JESUS!!! you did it AGAIN!

another powerful sermon! (: thank you thank you!!

Then
he said to me, This [addition of the bowl to the candlestick, causing
it to yield a ceaseless supply of oil from the olive trees] is the word
of the Lord to Zerubbabel, saying,
Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit [of Whom the
oil is a symbol], says the Lord of hosts.

style="font-style: italic;">For who are you, O great
mountain [of human obstacles]? Before Zerubbabel [who with
Joshua had led the return of the exiles from Babylon and was
undertaking the rebuilding of the temple, before him] you shall become
a plain [a mere molehill]! And he shall bring forth the finishing gable
stone [of the new temple] with loud shoutings of the people, crying, style="font-weight: bold;">Grace, grace to it!
[Zech 4:6-7 AMP]

I like this part - 'Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit' Kinda
takes the load of for me trying to perform...

No wonder the people cried: "Grace, grace to it!" Not "WORK WORK" or
"MIGHT MIGHT!"

But instead of our strength... we rely on grace... Much to the point we
take it radically...

Everything
can be and will be settled by grace... (swee mans...)

Every mistake made is corrected by grace...every failure is settled by
grace..

every success is there by grace, every blessings follows because of
grace..

GRACE GRACE....i guess it's such an important reminder to all of us...
because we shouldn't be 'used-to' grace...

I do forget many times..and start being very 'excellent' in my work by
my own effort... but my so called 'excellence' has an expiry date.. no
matter how much I tried, how much I practise.. how much I prepare... I
do make mistakes from time to time..

Performance is the seed for law... You MUST perform then blessings
manifest...

Grace on the other hand has performance as the FRUIT.... the seed is
Christ! (it's not even my faith lor) (:

Jesus died on the cross to perform what I cannot perform... thus
blessings manifest in my life.. because of HIS cross..which is mine
too. (:

I can perform my best because grace sets me free to do so...

and I like the proceeding verses after GRACE GRACE.

Moreover, the word of the
Lord came to me, saying,

The hands of Zerubbabel have laid the foundations of this house; his
hands shall also finish it. Then you shall know (recognize and
understand) that the Lord of hosts has sent me [His messenger] to you.

Who [with reason]
despises the day of small things? For these seven shall
rejoice when they see the plummet in the hand of Zerubbabel. [These
seven] are the eyes of the Lord which run to and fro throughout the
whole earth.

[Zech 4:8-10 AMP]

At this point, I'm sure Zerubbabel stood up with faith mans.. Because I
feel like standing up as well..haa..

This is the part where we would stand up against the accuser and taunt
him... Turn the tables..

"WHO WITH REASON DESPISES THE DAY OF SMALL THINGS?"

or you should check out how the The Message Bible renders it..

"After that, the style="font-weight: bold;">Word of God came to
me: "Zerubbabel started rebuilding this Temple and he will complete it.
That will be your confirmation that God-of-the-Angel-Armies sent me to
you.

Does anyone dare despise
this day of small beginnings? They'll change their tune
when they see Zerubbabel setting the last stone in place!" [Zech 4:8-10
MSG]

Does anyone DARE... words towards the accuser.. do you DARE speak
against the word of the Lord?

You CANNOT accuse me for being weak and small anymore... because God
uses the small things to comfound the big things..

DON'T YOU DARE DESPISE THE DAY OF SMALL BEGINNINGS...because like a
small seed, I'll grow to be a big tree...

(:

I'm happy. (:

Prayer for a friend.

2008-03-24T12:49:00.000+08:00

I randomly played this track from Casting Crown's latest album..

and this song touched me.. (:

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You
Complicated circumstances have clouded his view
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

I fear that I won't have the words that he needs to hear
I pray for Your wisdom, oh God, and a heart that's sincere
Lord, I lift my friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You
My best friend in the world, I know he means much more to You
I want so much to help him, but this is something he has to do
And Lord, I lift my friend up to You

'cause there's a way that seems so right to him
But You know where that leads
He's becoming a puppet of the world, too blind to see the strings
Lord, I lift my friend up to You
My friend up to You

Lord, I lift my friend to You, I've done all that I know to do
I lift my friend to You

~~~~~~~~~~~

I don't know about the other people...but this songs encourages me alot...

just when I don't know what to do for friends... I remember that they are in his hands as much as I am right now...

He has the whole world in His hands... me, you and the little children..He has the whole world in His hand.. (:

Surreal Valour.

2008-03-23T18:35:00.000+08:00

Stark skies, smoke all around, sounds of explosions and sudden shrieks.

I clutched on to my rifle, placed my finger in the trigger as tried my best to survive.

War is cruel and unfair, why to we have to fight a battle for someone’s ambition and to destroy another’s dream?

Those men on the other side didn’t ask to be enlisted to this stupid war just as much as I am, yet we’re senselessly killing each other.

Why are we doing this, who’s killing us?

Robbing us of life, joy and light, mocking us in everything thing we believed in.

Does our blood spilled do anything good for this nation, does help the grass to grow and the sun to shine?

13 March

I’ve survived yet another night, today I witnessed too much bloodshed.

I took out your picture that I’ve hidden under helmet. I stare blankly into it.

I don’t know what to do, I can’t eat the trash the mess to dishing out. All my cherished dreams of honour and valour all shatter at the thought of not ever being able to see you again. I wanted to run away, abandon it all but I know I cannot.

It all seems so surreal now. Is it me or is the smell of gun powder getting to my head?

15 March

I wake up every morning, dodging bullets and firing some of my own. I fight for honour or at least what I think is honour, under the facades of bravado and valour. The truth is I’m just a mere man fearful of death, fearful of losing my life to the enemy.

But despite my fears, I rush towards the tides of battle, I had to fight, not just for a chance to be with you, to protect my family who awaits my return, to protect the neighbours and their dog - Max, to make the playground safe for Sally and Tim to play again. To safeguard the peace of our nation, but honestly - to make sure I return home in one piece.

But even when I fear, battle calls out to me, telling me to rise up, and step up. The smell of impeding adventure thrills me, even if risk and danger are involved. I had my share of bullet wounds, but still I persist, what can’t kill me, can only make me stronger. But every time a bullet burns my flesh, I just pray that it never reaches my heart. I’ve made friends with the medics, they patch me up fast and I’m ready to go.

I see your picture again, and the ring I’ve sold my precious guitar to buy.

I won’t give up, not yet. Despite all surmounting circumstances against me, I press on in hope of seeing you again.

I won’t give up, I will fight for a cause, to put that ring on your finger.

28 March

Will you still remember me when I return? I am so battle hardened I don’t think I look the same anymore. I can’t remember how long has it been already.

How long has it been in this cursed camp? It seems like a year already.

Your picture is slightly crumpled, but as long as I can still see your face I’m content.

Today the 54th battery has been deployed, they are starting again, clearing out the coordinates before my section moves in.

I long for rest. But I can’t. I’m afraid you’ll forget about me, that you might find hideous.

23 October

My buddy lost his leg today; Sergeant Samuel “Smokey” Ashton is unfit for battle. And they sent him home. I’m alone once more.

Today was supposed to be special day, was it? I can’t remember the significance of this date anymore.

Oh heck, it’s just another day.

23 November

Today’s your birthday isn’t it? I wish you the best, I don’t know when I’ll be able celebrate it with you but I pray you’ll receive what you pray for. Happy Birthday.

14 December

My buddies asked me about the picture under my helmet. They mock me of my hopes of seeing you again. They laugh at me for trying to survive just to see you again.

I asked myself why do I try so hard? Why do I love you so?

I thought hard about it. I took a whole night thinking about it.

To me, you’re my first love. In actuality, I had many loves before you, but they all pale in comparison to you. I felt like I’ve never loved before I met you.

I had never believed in love at first sight. I gave up on love when I entered the military.

I despised romance, thinking it’ll never happen to me.

The movies make it look so easy to fall in love. I scorned at such lies, I look upon such childish hopes with disdain.

Until I saw you, they call it hope. I call hope by your name.

What was it about you that made me stop in the middle of a busy street, wanting to approach yet unable to move.

What made my legs feel like lead and my heart beat like my rifle.

They call it nervousness, I call it foolish. You called it silly.

I was trained with a mental focus like steel and inbred in me was an iron-will. Yet the thought of you breaks the hardest of focus, weakens the strongest of wills.

I mocked hopeless forlorn lovers, but I, myself had turned into a lovelorn child. I had never felt this way till I met you. Just how do you do it?

I had a stone cold heart yet your presence made my heart pliable again. You allowed me to love again. Though it had only been one way.

Though it’s only silent admiration from afar, though you’ll always be at the corner of my eye. Though I can only steal quick glances of you, while sipping coffee. I could only silently hope, and bear with the fear of being rejected and put up with the ebbing ache.

Is this how falling in love feels like? Yet, I’ll persevere.

You gave me a chance, I could finally approach you, yet this war took away my only chance to love. I will not grow bitter, but I’ll fight my way back to you.

25 December

It’s Christmas, they invited a pastor over to preach to us.

I had almost given up on religion, I can’t remember when did I last pray.

Though the metal cross still hangs around my neck along with my dog tag, I had forgotten how it feels to be watched over by a higher being.

This pastor is different, he doesn’t preach the way it’s usually done back home.

“Christianity is not a religion, it’s a relationship. The baby boy that Mary bore was born to save you. Do you not know the meaning of the name Jesus? It means Saviour!”

I nodded violently and listened with my mouth opened. I had never heard anything like this.

“You’ve been fighting a long war, I know you long for rest! But I have good news to tell you!” shouted the Preacher as he stepped up on a barrel.

“Jesus Christ! Came to win a war you could never win, fought for you and died on your behalf! If there is any greater comrade you have today, it is this man!”

(and he took out a picture of a cross with a man hung on it.)

“This man, fully God yet fully man, hung on a cross meant for you and me. Paid a debt we could never pay, won a war we saw as hopeless. A comrade who would place his life on the line for you. A friend, a brother who would take the bullet for you.!”

Tears rolled down my dusty cheeks as I listened such good news that I’ve never heard till now.

“Now my fellow brothers, would like to know this friend, would you like to invite him into your life – it’s been a harsh and cruel war out there. But I promise you, Jesus cares and he will safeguard your life, he will rescue you, he will bring you back home!”

My hand shot out without hesitation, I didn’t care who was around me, I raised my hand and shouted. “I want to know this Jesus you talk about. I want him NOW!”

I knew this Jesus was my only chance home, if those promises were true, I’ll give my life to this Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

This Christmas is accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour, and this war wasn’t the same again.

12 February

I prayed for every man I had to shoot, I didn’t aim for their vital points, I simply disabled them, a shot to the leg or arm. I had to protect my comrades, yet I’m not blood thirsty enough to kill those young men. They’re simply trying to protect their comrades just as I am.

My section captured their eastern command post. We secured the compound and retrieved some ammunition. I got my boys to round up the enemy soldiers and bring them back to the last rally point.

For once the silver cross hanging around my neck has significance, a reason to be there.

I took the cross and kissed it. It’s not the just the cross that saved me, but the man who hung on it that guards my life. I went to a quiet corner to pray and just thank Jesus for guarding me and my men so far.

And I pray you’re doing well, I know I’m coming back home for you. I’m different man now.

12 March

A miracle happened, I didn’t get to hear much but news from the Ops room says that the war is over!

I couldn’t believe my ears at first, but slowly the news sank in.

Thank you Jesus, you made a way. I finally getting to go home!

Sergeant Roger from Ops room told me that our nation is signing a peace treaty with the other country. And from this very moment, there shall be a ceasefire.

I couldn’t help but tear. Streams of salty tears flowed from my weary eyes.

Tears of joy.

I placed my rifle on the ground, and raised my hands. I thanked this Jesus who came at the right time to rescue me.

I took off my helmet and the chain around my neck, and saw how the cross glistened in the sun.

And I saw your photo, still crumpled, but now there’s hope.
Now I get to see the real face not just a photo.

23 March

Today, a ceremony was held at the memorial square to remember my comrades who gave their lives to protect the country.

A acclamation were recited as our heads were bowed down.

“Today we gather here, not very far from the resting place of the others who gave up their lives to defend our country.

Today we remember men, men of honour. Some of them - your sons, some of them - your brothers, and some, your beloved husbands.

My words can never alleviate the pain from the loss your family is facing today.

But I applaud you. For your son, your brother and your husband have become heroes of the nations. They have answered the call of duty and faithfully upheld their creed as soldiers of our Nation. Up to the last breath they had.

These men are men of valour, men of courage. Men you’re proud of. That the Nation is proud of.

Today, the governors of our other states have issued an order that our National Flag and the flags of their respective state flags be flown at half-mast on the day of our men’s funerals. We are not alone in honouring them

And why this reaction? Why hundreds of people at funerals? Why governors issuing decrees for flags to be flown at half mast?

Because we are all in awe of their great sacrifice, courage and devotion to duty and each other. These men, our men, are fallen on the field of battle. Forever more that is their legacy. Their names are now enshrined on the scroll of America’s hallowed dead. And where they died, where they shed their blood, is sacred ground to us.

Today we mourn the loss of good men, faithful men. May God bless their souls and those of their families gathered here today.”

And as the Funeral March is played, I bow my head, remembering my fallen comrades, I prayed for their families, that comfort would rest upon them.

Somehow this seemed like surreal valour, as the medal of valour that I share with my comrades gleamed in the sun. as the medal is pinned on my uniform. I see the same medal pinned on their uniforms.
Elliot ‘e’ Williams, is presented with the medal of valour, for gallantry, for faithfully upholding his creed as a ranger, for duty to his country and for valour of which this ribbon signifies.

I thank God for keeping me alive, whether there’s a ribbon or not, I’m just glad, glad I’m home to see you once more.

Surreal Valour.
Immanuel (23 March 08)

My first lengthy short story... Kinda enjoyed writing this one alot.. Took five days but it was worth it... it's of certain taste to me la..

Didn't know that some parts really coincided with whatever Pastor shared today.. (:

hope you enjoyed it ya.. (:

moon dance.

2008-03-18T18:38:00.000+08:00

and while the eagle-like bird flew past...

YQ the inherent moon dancer pointed and said..

'HEY IT'S THE MOON!'

and Charmie the crusader shouted.. PAGAN YOU!

thus the dance battle started...

YQ with the moon dance and Charmie with her awesome dodging dance skills..

and there was a showdown...

Charmie won... because she dodged the moon...lol

:P

GEMS CAMP.

2008-03-18T11:52:00.000+08:00

I don’t know how many aching right shoulders were there on that day… but yeah, daddyGod you’re faithful.

Gems camp.

It was the most amazing period of my life this year…Yes, it’s been very tumultuous this past three months…but this three months has also been the month where I got my Benjamin generation portion of blessings.. FIVE TIMES MORE.

It’s only three months, and I’ve never felt so battered and tried in such a short period of time…but though I look back and saw the glory and grace covering those situations… I’m must be real - at that time everything felt like crap la, it felt like anything but ‘full of grace’.. but now I look back and just saw such immense favor covering me back then…

Gems Camp was an very important camp to me…

I’ve placed so much hope on this camp, I went expecting a change in this camp..I went there with quite a heavy heart but yet an anticipating heart…

in short I made GI Gems( the camp name) MY camp.

Not just any Rock Kidz event..but a personal journey taken alongside my precious kids…

Just three days and two nights, I’ve changed..

I wanted so badly to be a good teacher and games master….I wanted to be ’sart’…

but I made mistakes along the way… I thought I blew it.. Missed the mark…I’m anything but ’sart’…

Forgetting to lock the front door, late for games comm meeting… Oh mans, I think to myself - I make a bad teacher mans.. How would the other teachers view me, how would my kids see me as?

but little did I know that my mistakes are anything but setbacks… In fact the mistakes set me up for a journey to see how grace takes effect in my life…

Grace is such, it works best in failure…

When I felt like Zero… Grace was the Hero.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three things daddyGod did for me in this period of camp.

1. He gave me a superabounding favor… nothing that I’ve ever saw before….Something I wanted for my games..

I personally felt that the kids loved my stations… Though I may not have sauce pools or anything, I saw how much fun the kids have when they were doing simple things like spraying water from the water guns and squeezing tomatos…

And even if my second day game was a clean relay match… I saw how much fun they had when my partner and me taught them funny cheers and stuff… listening to the youths tell weird jokes… It was really favor with the youths and teacher mans…Even if they called me stinky - I didn’t mind, I didn’t react…I just enjoyed being a channel of joy to them… My ego can go take a flight la…

2. After the first night service - I took a peek at the care corner… being very curious, I went to find my group’s corner.. and every other teacher from my group had a letter… mine was quite empty… Of course, to be very real, it felt quite ‘despressing’ la… but I just brushed it off knowing my favor with the kids is not measured by the amount of letters I get but by Jesus and him alone..

But still, I asked daddyGod - “I’ll be nice to have a least one letter right?”

and I forgot about it, and just continued what I’m doing…games and stuff…

By the end of the camp, I found the care pocket quite full of letters… and daddyGod whispered - “I’ve not forgotten you..”

3. I felt very loved after the last preaching session of the camp… especially when my youths laid tiny hands on tiny me and prayed… such a lovely moment..

and I was utterly content already… I came with a heavy heart with many things in my mind.. but I left with a heart not burdened anymore…

I thought I’ve received alot already, I thought I’ve seen it all…but daddyGod had more…

My right shoulder was sore after the moving and cleaning of games logistics from camp… and it was really irritating because I didn’t want to return to work the next day with aches and pain…

After a fantastic message which burned in my heart, Pastor Prince felt a healing anointing…and asked those with body conditions to stand up..

I was like ‘praise God’, but I just sat down.. throughout the service my shoulder was bugging me.. I tried to massage my shoulder but the pain wouldn’t subside…I didn’t stand up because I thought… ‘aiyah, just buy the Tiger Balm plaster later, this is a small thing only…but it’ll be nice if it’s healed la’

Pastor mentioned about a person with back problems…and he was healed! I was like ‘praise God mans!’….

then Pastor mentioned about a right shoulder condition…I don’t know why, but I straight away stood up…I DON’T KNOW WHY I stood up but I did… honestly when I saw another hand raised up to acknowledge Pastor word of knowledge..I wanted to sit down already.. but my hand went up anyway… and Pastor acknowledged it…

honestly I didn’t need for Pastor to pray for my shoulder… honestly I believed after communion It’s already on it’s way to wholeness…

but when Pastor acknowledged my hand and prayed for me… I dunno why, but I felt special…. Remembered…Wanted….

though having the camera on me was quite annoying… some people say I look skinny on screen.. I felt really really special to daddyGod that He bothered to do something spectacular for my sake… My shoulder wasn’t instantly healed by the way…I felt a warm fuzzy wussy feeling on the afflicted area and in my gut… and it felt really nice… and the pain slowly left though there was still tightness on the shoulder…

I don’t know how many aching shoulders were there that sunday… I’m sure they were healed too….

but that sunday just reminded me how important I am to Jesus… that I’m not forgetten..I still have a precious friendship with Him..that He is still with me and near me… (like what Immanuel means.. God is with us)

I felt like those three things were prayers that I didn’t pray answered…

And grace still works wonders in my life. though this has been a crazy March…it’s been a fun March too.. (:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Praise and worship was amazing…thank you worship team for the music and vocals… because the session were so refreshing and liberating…

And God answered my prayer of seeing tiny hands lifted up with hearts abandoned to a big big daddyGod…

the girls who worship I understand…They are more mature than boys at these age, hearts more tender to the Lord… but to see my boys lifting up their hands, eyes closed, voice raised…

Singing..

”At the cross I bow my knee,

where your blood was shed for me,

there’s no greater love than this”

I felt so ministered by the children…I kept quiet, with hands raised - letting the voices of the true children of God.. voices more angelic than the heavenly hosts to minister to me… to fill my heart with the love of God which translates to faith…

Worship…. in spirit and in truth… those youths worship… no hypocrisy, no masks, no demands… just worship.. just communion with Jesus…

Every session was a session of healing and building.. I believe broken hearts were made whole during the camp.. be it the camp teachers or Gems youths.. I believe there was the building of the house of God at every session, both for the teachers and youths.. there as we sang, great things, seeds of destiny, dreams were deposited into our hearts…

This isn’t a children church camp full of fun and games alone.. This is the preparation of the next generation of youths for the youth ministry… and I’m glad I had a chance to be part of it…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the word shared during the sessions were awesome… Praise God for Ronnie who daddyGod had tasked to break the bread of life into bite sized pieces for growing children…

the only verse I remembered from the whole camp is probably this..

And we have known and believed the love that God has for us.

God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. [1 John 4:16 NKJV]

to know that I’m loved is not enough… I’ve got to believe it as well.. (:

I believe that I’m treasured, I’m loved.

This is the gospel….I get to live a good life that I don’t deserved simple because Jesus paid for it with His life for me.

Simple message, powerful impartation.

I liked it when Ronnie asked the youths… “Why are we Christians?”

I liked it when He reminded us that Christians aren’t born…but Born-again. (:

I’m Christian because I’ve known and now I believed - That Jesus loves me, and died to save me.

Period, I think I can live my live like that - simple, sweet…. Jesus loves me - that’s it.

The simplest doctrine, for everyday needs. - Jesus loves me, Jesus loves me, Jesus loves me…

But love isn’t doctrine - it’s relationship. (:

He’ll take care of my every needs - not because He is God and I’m a worshipper…

But because I’m his kid, and He is the Big Daddy.

and truly only Children can enter the Kingdom of God - child-like faith….hmms selah.

so privileged to serve in Gems la…

I heart Gems.

I heart Jesus.

GEMS CAMP.

2008-03-13T15:12:00.000+08:00

it's finally here! the camp that i've been waiting for!!!

GI GEMS~! (God In Gems)

Tomorrow is GI GEMS CAMP 2008! and I’ve yet to pack my bag.. I think I wanna skip tonight’s meeting to pack and rest…and praise God the meeting is cancelled! (:

oh mans, I’m so excited.. (:

Jesus! just flood this camp with your love and joy! let the kids have so much fun, I pray none will be feeble, I pray that the children who came in with heartaches or sickness will leave the camp.. Loved and Healed…

I pray for the games comm, that we’ll see success in our games, I pray for the worship team, that in anointed worship will the children would learn what it means to have their hearts abandoned for you.. To see tiny hands lifted up to a big big daddyGod…

I pray for the teachers and all adults helpers, that we’ll all recieve a DOUBLE portion, that as we gave, we also receive…

I pray for a good camp, a camp where the youths receive the word and WORD for their lives, that from this camp I’ll see them grow up…

Protect the children from any fall or any accidents Lord, I plead the blood of Jesus over them and over the whole camp (:

in my beloved Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN!

and guys, pray for me too! (: hahaha... that uh..I make the games fun? (:

aiyah anything good in mind just pray k? (: haha..

too fast.

2008-03-12T11:31:00.000+08:00

and we're expected to catch up, but the pace is too fast..

"left, right, left, right, left" shouted the timer, he was also out of breath...

but they don't give us a break don't they, they don't let up the pace...

"you're supposed to know how to do that!, you're supposed to know this!, you call yourself a chinese / human / [insert role/post/occupation here]!, do this faster!!, you're useless."

just when the instructors were going to far....just when the skeptics are sniggering...

a big strong man appeared.

my daddyGod.

-the rest is HIStory. (:

the playwright

2008-03-11T08:46:00.000+08:00

“I am only a humble playwright, and this dusty stage is
precious abode.

I write scripts and sometimes, songs, for plays and musicals
for others to enjoy.

I am a humble playwright, no one notices me, maybe some have
heard my name, but mostly I’m shroud in mystery, lost in oblivion. The
actors
and characters they act from my script but in the end of the play, when
they
give their humble bow, the applause goes to them not the one who wrote
the
story and the made the tunes and sounds.”

The playwright gave out a quiet sigh as he went back to his
study to write more beautiful stories and arranged more beautiful
songs,
scripts he never include himself in, songs he never sang himself.

It’s ironic, how such a humble old thing could write such
magnificent plays, yet, live in such a dull and mundane manner.

The playwright went by the pseudonym of ‘e’.
not E but the humble ‘small letter’
- ‘e’.

e had live a very
mundane life since young. He never got of his house to play, not
because he
didn’t want to but because his parents forbade him to do so, for
reasons he
never quite understood.

Soon e was
accustomed to living indoors and playing indoors. His father bought him
a set
of blocks for his birthday and e
played with blocks everyday. Although e
hardly went out of the house on his own.
e always followed his father in his car, e loved road trips
across the
country and it was through these road trips did e’s
mind expand in experience and in imagination.

The sights, the sounds, the smell and even taste of being
outside. e loved it and would re enact the road trips with the blocks
he had at
home. And that was how e began
writing stories for plays, though e
had never sat in a play before.

It was when e sat
in his very first play did he fall in love with writing. The emotions,
the
mood, the unseen nuances, the plot, the actors and their ever evolving
roles.
Soon e became intoxicated with
writing and though he had attended only a few plays, the stories that
play in
his mind are boundless. e
had
a great imagination, he didn’t need to sit in a play, you just need to
tell him
bits and bites of the story and soon an entire play is in motion in his
mind.

e never really
lived a beautiful life, though he felt it was quite comfortable
already, the
frequent fights his parents have gave him little comfort. but still style="">e would continue to believe that
beautiful things could manifest if one could just wait.

Maybe that is why e
never wrote inconclusive tragedies, somehow no matter how tragic the
story was,
even when tears are rolling, the ending of the play would always result
in a
twist for the better. Somehow, e
would make redemption is the last thought on peoples’ minds before the
curtain
closes.

Just imagine Romeo finally reunited with Juliet in the afterlife,
imagine Hamlet dodging Laertes
blade.
Imagine Othello never confronted Desdemona. Imagine Dr. Faustus
repenting.

e style="" lang="EN"> was sure things would made
beautiful in its time.

but alas tragedy
stuck, something happened that left e scarred
in his heart.

poison filled style="">e heart, and soon the stories style="">e wrote became morbid, cold.

His songs turned
sour and melodramatic. e became
bitter and went “Que Sera Sera (What will be, shall be)". style="">e continued to write only to release the
pain he experienced inside.

then came a
ballerina, a beautiful dancer from one of e’s
musicals.

her name was Linette, and no one knows how and when she
appeared on stage, it seemed as though she had been dancing on stage
since
forever.

though e became
cold, and lost all joy for writing, somehow when he saw Linette dance
his heart
started to feel again, it was romance that knocked gently to the heart
of the
playwright inviting itself to come in.

but e brushed the
thoughts away, refusing entry to any feeling.

“I’ve fallen to far, became too bitter, harden my heart too
much already. bah, humbug!” said the broken playwright in bitterness.

but day by day, as e
sat in his own plays, though still broken, he would sat in his own play
just to
catch a glimpse of the little ballerina dancing.

the playwright wouldn’t admit it. but somehow romance had
manage to walk past the gates of his guarded heart.

although e was
afraid he’ll never write something beautiful again, but romance or what
they
call it ‘love’ had other plans in mind.

slowly but surely did love removed fear - the thorn in the
festering wound of his heart. And with fear cast out, e’s
heart began to heal.

and again, e began
to write beautiful stories and songs again, this time, with romance
playing
with his pen.

ode to thy creator, lover.

2008-03-11T06:43:00.000+08:00

Lord, give me eyes like none other,

to see my stories come together,

bless me lord with signs and wonders,

for me to sing you praises forever.

Lord give me hands like none other,

to write, to paint, to play wherever;

give me creativity that’s like you Lord,

for me to make melodies of one accord.

Lord show me love like none other,

for me to lavish the same to another.

give a heart that’s tender to you,

a heart that hears your lovely tunes.

Lord, give me hugs like none other,

a holy embrace that fills my hunger;

the thirst that’s unique only for you,

a desperate need to be in love with you.

Lord, be my all, not another.

my everything, my sole desire;

let your kisses flood my waking moments,

and your loving grace to cover me forever.

smiley.

2008-03-10T17:38:00.000+08:00

lolcatzzzz! (:

I'm grinning like mad now..haha.. HAPPY! (:

I like this...

2008-03-10T11:57:00.000+08:00

Forgiveness is no easy thing. When we have been wronged, we are already hurting. We can't forgive without letting down our pride and anger; without making ourselves more vulnerable. We must let sorrow flood in and humility do its uncomfortable work.

We must allow God to break our hearts so that we can kiss those who wound us and weep before them. Forgiveness is not easy, but it is God-like. In our journey to become like our Father, it is of inestimable worth.

Jesus' horror story ended with the Resurrection. Joseph's ended with reconciliation and one final speech. "What you intended for evil," he said, "God intended for good." In the end, we cannot forgive unless we're willing to trust God and believe that this story is bigger than we are. Jesus declared that the road to life was through death.

Faced with our own need, we can only throw our heads back, look to our Father, and cry, "Forgive us, as we forgive. Let us be broken, O Lord, and make us whole again."

From Boundless.org - Broken Embrace

i need thee tis hour.

2008-03-10T06:18:00.000+08:00

My Lord, I find that nothing else will do,

But follow where thou goest, sit at thy feet,

And where I have thee not, still run to meet.

Roses are scentless, hopeless are the morns,

Rest is but weakness, laughter crackling thorns,

If thou, the Truth, do not make them the true:

Thou art my life, O Christ, and nothing else will do.

My usual dose of Old Mac's coded talk help me express myself better.

thou art thy life, O Christ. nothing apart for thee will do;

no voice as tender as thine, no comfort soothes like thy love.

come quickly to thee, thy servant king who serves;

make haste, thy saviour king or life has been vain.

i need thee tis hour, no other moment but now;

i need thy aid, hear me when I call.

incline thy ears, and save me from my fall.

thy love is choice sustenance, all other fare fails.

your love is better than wine.

bottle.

2008-03-10T03:48:00.000+08:00

the bottle has been popped open...

sometimes you can store eveything in one small bottle can expect that it won't burst..

because one thing about emotions - that expand really fast...

either find many bottles and huge ones while we're at it...

or we could just take it all to Lord in prayer...

"What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

let go.

2008-03-09T19:18:00.000+08:00

and man looks at the letter of retrenchment..and crushes it, He is bewildered.

and a guy reads the letter of rejection, crushes it - hurt.

the man takes the bulk of bills, at lost, crushes - screams.

the man receives the report - He has cancer -dumbfounded, He crushes the report...

somehow bad reports always end up crushed, and gripped tightly...

one day, a man...
drank from a cup, he could have refused..

reports crushed are held on so tightly, knuckles turn white as the pressure is applied.

why, hold on so tightly...

because of pain?
shame?
fear?
hate?
disbelief?

and it was hard to let go of the reports...

after the man drank from the cup,
he spoke, may your will be done...he stood and he walked.

this time, he had strength no more;
as he lay down upon the floor.
mangled and crushed, no beauty nor form
with arms wide open, and palms unclenched.
as bolts of iron hammered though the open palms.

he let his palms stay opened for those whose hands gripped closed.
and let the holes prove his love for you.

open up and let go for your pain, shame and fears...

open up your hands and receive love, healing and hope..

He received the cup meant for me and you, he opened his palms for you to open up too.

Let go of the crushed items, and be restored.

Let go because he held the nails for you.

Dairy of an old soul..

2008-03-09T04:41:00.000+08:00

I finally got my hands on the book "Diary of an Old Soul" by George Macdonald..

I like how he speaks in code and cryptic.... my preferred style of writing...haha... anyway take a look at this! (: see if we share the same interpetation....haha.. (:

I see a child before an empty house,
Knocking and knocking at the closed door;
He wakes dull echoes--but nor man nor mouse,
If he stood knocking there for evermore.--
A mother angel, see! folding each wing,
Soft-walking, crosses straight the empty floor,
And opens to the obstinate praying thing.

out for walk.

2008-03-08T10:57:00.000+08:00

it was a lazy saturday today...

I woke up late and just lazed my way through....

Being unable to just sit at home and stone... I took a long walk outside with JZ's camera..and at the same time to buy lunch...

JZ! thanks a squillion for the camera mans... I don't why but after the long walk taking photos (I finished a roll easily..haha.) I feel so much better... It's kinda therapeutic taking photos on a restless and boring saturday...

and I had lunch at 3.30pm...haha... so late...

It's amazing what subjects you can find to take photos of if you take your time....

I took a series of photos this afternoon with the theme of 'Beauty in the Ordinary'... I can't wait to see how the photos turned out...

I shall develop the film tomorrow! (:

Billionaires All.

2008-03-07T08:44:00.000+08:00

Wah, we Police are all around the newspaper lately...

I smell a journalistic conspiracy here...so classic la.. I'm starting
to think like my Journalism/Print Media Lecturer..

(yo! NP FMS guys, you all should know Mr Paul Ramani? Sarcastic, ex-BT
editor? haha, he is my lecturer for night classes as well)

ANYWAYS, I'm pyscho-ed by Mr Paul to constantly be updated in the
news... (unforturnately Talkingcock.com isn't news..shucks...it was
entertaining rubbish tho..)

SO, I read that THE Straits Times... and on page 3 of PRIME TIME
NEWS...is the list of Billionaires...and the top ten on the For-bees
rich list..

I can't reproduce the article here...the picture belongs to ST la.. so
I'm doing my own...

src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/belovedsloth/GodsNo1.jpg">

Praise God, I do intend to make the FOR-BEEES list one day..but oh
heck, who need FOR-BEEES when you're on Heaven's list - the Book of
Life?? (:

*I used GIMP to do the above, although Photoshop could have given me
more juice to make it look better.. Lord , make photoshop
portable..haha..(:

You have guys reading this entry - no worries I'll remember you when
I'm BILLIONAIRE! (cuz I'll prolly see your name beside mine,
billionaire you.. (: )

God Bless. (:

walk with me.

2008-03-06T07:01:00.000+08:00

and gently he whispered...

walk with me...

it doesn't matter where you are, walk with me...

it doesn't mater which road you pick, walk with me...

along the paths of righteousness even into the valley deep.

walk with me.

yes, I have plans for you, I've sent my word concerning you,
and it will not return to me void.

yes, I've destined you for greatness, I have a will for you life.

but even if you pick the wrong road, made the wrong choices.

I'll still walk with you.

I've given you free will, a ability to choose. And this gift I
will never revoke nor repent.

I've given you to power to choose, to make creative choices.

but even if you chose wrongly, you'll be able never walk out
of my will for you.

because I'll walk with you.

I'll never leave you nor forsake you, I'll be by your side.
even if you choose to be quiet.

I'll follow you even if you choose to run. to the ends of the earth
I'll be with you.

and when you choose to talk, I'll listen.

when you choose to break down, I'll embrace you.

when you choose to give up, I'll carry you.

when you choose to scream, I'll let you.

it doesn't matter anymore what roads you chose,

I'll still lead you to your purpose - destiny.

it doesn't matter anymore if you've be climbing on a grain of
sand.

I've traversed deserts and beaches with you.

I'll walk with you till you'll hold my hand and walk with me.

until then, my hand is never to far away to clasp.

src="http://divineblueprints.wordpress.com/files/2008/03/bw-hand.jpg"
alt="bw-hand.jpg" border="0" height="544"
width="362">

ps. Listening to 'The Rescue' by EiTS. It's astounding.... days one to eight...

simply next to you.

2008-03-05T12:15:00.000+08:00

I don’t want to do anything but just be near you and hear your voice.

You don’t have to do anything, just sit with me, Jesus.

and melodies will be birthed from silence,

colours will flow out from plain spaces.

I don’t need anything, blessings take second focus,

just your presence, just knowing I’m beside you,

just to hear you speak, it is enough.

just to feel you near, it’s a blessing I content with.

and all I need, finances, shalom.

health and hope.

It’s settled as I’m near you,

by your throne of grace.

as I’m near you, I’m whole. (:

:)

2008-03-05T05:44:00.000+08:00

I seem to type more on the other side. hahaha... multiply hiatus! haha.

no back to work...

shudders

2008-03-03T12:28:00.000+08:00

I no doubt deserved my enemies,
but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
– Walt Whitman

wow, what a quote.

not that I totally agree with it.... I don't know about the enemies part...but I do think that it makes alot of sense...

I don't deserve my friends, i really don't.

because I can't deserve gifts can I? *winks*

There is no friend like an old friend
Who has shared our mourning days
No greeting like his welcome
No homage like his praise.
Fame is the scentless sunflower
With gaudy crown of gold.
But friendship is the breathing rose
With sweets in every fold.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

fear....

2008-03-02T05:55:00.000+08:00

- Sweetest name of All (Cover done by Me)

the scariest thing about fear - it consumes you bit by bit, it makes you lose yourself moment by moment.

I've been very insecure lately - much to the point I can't recognise myself anymore...

I've been contemplating whether to type the on Wordpress or on multiply... (Does it matter anyway?)

Insecurity - It is very self-righteous of me to say that I dislike or even detest being insecure and holding on so much to the times in 'secure' and unshaken by circumstances....

but I cannot say that...though many times I've been so self-righteous and disillusioned to the point that I glorify my insecurity, I champion it and wear insecurity around my neck, parading it... I use it to fend friends away, avoid people I love and hurt those who are close to me..

Insecurity, it's ok to be insecure....daddyGod validates my insecurity.

because insecurity is a condition of the heart, it's not simply an action or emotion, it goes deeper, it's a result of something deeper....fear? probably...

But daddyGod validates it...

He says: "it's alright to be insecure - as long as you come to be for security..."

In Christ the Solid Rock I stand - all other ground is sinking sand..

and even though I stumble, even if I fear and I forget about everything Pastor preach, even if I'm troubled and scared... I'll never fall farther than grace...

I will be always comforted when I'm insecure....

and when my heart is troubled, whenever and if ever my heart is afflicted - I can be assure, He will heal the broken hearted.

psalms 51, probably my favourite psalm yet...

it speaks of brokenness - to me, maybe one of David's most broken period of his life apart from the chase from Saul.

it's speaks of groaning - like David, I groan, i groan deeply when I'm afflicted and insecure, when I lost my footing from the Solid Rock, I groan with all that is within me when my heart breaks, when I'm troubled and confused...

to me, psalm 51 speaks of every pain I'm ever faced and facing...but it's not done with simply brokeness.

there is redemption, there is the explosions '3:17' moment...

Psalms 51:10-15 MSG
God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.
Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails!

Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home.

Commute my death sentence, God, my salvation God, and I'll sing anthems to your life-giving ways. Unbutton my lips, dear God; I'll let loose with your praise.

If this isn't glorious, I don't know what is...

"Put a fresh wind in my sails" you know what the verse sounds like in other versions?

The Modern King James Version renders it this way.. "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit."

I love it! Restore me to the joy of YOUR SALVATION... SALVATION - YESHU!

it's Jesus' name (of course, incomplete without the 'wah')

Joy of the Lord!

and it's said that the JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH! (: (:

and the most lovely last part of Psalms 51 is this..

Going through the motions doesn't please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice.

Make Zion the place you delight in, repair Jerusalem's broken-down walls.

Then you'll get real worship from us, acts of worship small and large, Including all the bulls they can heave onto your altar! (Psalms 51:16-17)

oh, GOD LOVES BROKEN HEARTS!!!

He loves them...not love to see broken hearts...but DADDYGOD LOVES BROKEN HEARTS INTO WHOLENESS!

daddyGod has given me Love, Power and a Sound mind...

so I rejoice in my insecurity, I sing in my weakness...

because every moment of depair or failure is another moment of love and restoration...

He is strong in my weakness, my security when I'm wavering... (:

and another verse I love is Psalms 42

Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God-- soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God.

When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you, From Jordan depths to Hermon heights, including Mount Mizar.
Chaos calls to chaos, to the tune of whitewater rapids. Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers crash and crush me. (Psalms 42:5-8 MSG)

HAHA, WOOHOO!!! (shouts Hallelujah!)

HE PUTS A GLEAM IN MY EYE, A SKIP IN MY STEP.. HE IS MY GOD! (:

wah, selah on this mans...

I don't feel any bit of insecurity anymore... (:

*just some thankyous.

Kennyman - bro, you're a God-send... you didn't need to say anything or do anything...but it was just you being that outside Bombers listening you me that made a difference in my life. you're a GODSEND. (:

Wannie - watermelons are awesome, they makes friends out of two people from different worlds. You're a blessing to a lil squirrel. thanks for listening.. (:

Eleanor - you always say things that are super super accurate, how'd you do it mans?? haha.. it's thought-provoking at times... thankyou for the conversations.

MJ (mei jie) - you'll prolly never read this since you're a self confessed IT noob, but you're such a blessing to me, as my Team Leader and my 'older sis' figure... Thankyou for the hongkong cafe treat, the realness in your sharing with me and the advice you give..they're golden..

JZ - bro, you're another GODSEND - first thankyou for the Camera, im having a blast with it... soon i need to develop the photos... thankyou for teaching me countless of things, though the things you write.. (: I rub off anointing for writing from you.. (:

guitar and daddyGod - daddyGod you really can use a simple piece of wood with steel strings to change my life don't you? thankyou for the precious moments recording those real heart worship clips.. (:

Then GOD promises to love me all day, sing songs all through the night! My life is God's prayer.

woohoo!

2008-02-29T05:45:00.000+08:00

exciting updates!

my ideas for an entire overhaul of my organsation's magazine has been
very well accepted.

and I wasn't ashamed to use the SOILD ROCK magazine as our main
inspiration.

now I'm cutting my magazine into HALF! (:

and I'm quite exciting about being able to oversee the design elements
of the magazine!! whoo!

so favoured la..haha.. I'll show you all my NEW magazine on July! (:

~~~

so another note. I was just joking with my colleagues about what would
happen if we're activated to search for the escaped JI leader..

wow, countless of possibilities.

1. If we found him, woohoo! Instant promotion! National Recognition! CP
Commendation! (:

2. If I found him, woohoo! Instant promotion, Commendation and CID
might want me to transfer there!

3. If we found him and he puts up a fight - knock him out.

4. Just in case, wear a bullet-proof vest.

5. We're so embrassed, we let a limp run..lol

6. If he's not found - forget about our pay rise mans...

7. because he gave us so much trouble, lets put him in a dark cell and
play the Bee Gees looping indefinitely.....

8. ok let's not go too far and think crazy thoughts..haha..

daddyGod is faithful k!

2008-02-28T11:23:00.000+08:00

ok, I'm pretty free today... so, like a good policeman would, I went to
surf through my case files...

and something caught my eye that made me really really happy.

WANIE HUA! remember you posted something about a christian guy being
slashed?

well, here's good news...the gang of youths were arrested recently...
and although there were three other cases apart from that guy....

there was a major cleanup of rioters in the east region...

Rejoice all you eastees! You're neighbourhood is safe!! praise be to
Jesus...because it was quite a swift arresting of the violent youths..
(:

oh yes do refer to the Straits Times (Home) Section 23 Feb!

now the westees, no worries... The terrorist would be arrest shortly, I
have more faith in my God there what mere man can do...

but daddyGod will mightily use the Police force for his glory - because
he planted His son in there! and yes, He planted many army sons as
well! (:

When God ran...

2008-02-28T05:40:00.000+08:00

Almighty God, the great I Am

Immovable rock, Omnipotent, Powerful, Awesome lord

Victorious warrior, Commanding king of kings, Mighty conqueror

And the only time, the
only time I ever saw Him run..

Is when He ran to me, took me in his arms

Held my head to his chest, said my son's come home again

Looked at my face, wiped the tears from my eyes

With forgiveness in his voice he said

"Son, do you know I still love you?"

It caught me by surprise, brought me to my knees

When God ran

The day I left home, I knew I had broken his heart

I wondered then if things could ever be the same

Then one night, I remembered his love for me

And down that dusty road ahead I could see

I saw Him run to me..

It caught me by surprise.

Brought me to my knees

style="font-style: italic;">When God ran

~~~~~

today's devotional was awesome, even though it nothing
really new...but it reminded me of this beautiful song...

maybe some of you never heard of this song, maybe some of you heard the
Phillips Craig And Dean version..

but take time to read the lyrics of this beautiful song by Benny
Hester...

by the way, you should really check out the Shaded Red cover of this
song... really nice indie feel to it... (:

mans, it'll be nice to hear EitS do a cover of this song as well.. (:
haha.. woah..

mee-pok man.

2008-02-28T04:29:00.000+08:00

he wields dangerous chopsticks,

and handles a ladle with much finesse.

Who is he?

the mee-pok man.

tossing noodles like pro,

flipping dumplings, eyes closed.

Who is he?

the mee-pok man.

mee-pok man, mee-pok man,

Laksa, Kway teow – He’s the man.

Wan-ton mee? No worry

Come now, Come fast! Visit Him.

LOR-MEE? Just ask the mee-pok man.

CHILLI? Just add twenty cents!

~~~~

ohh man, the mee-pok man at my workplace is quite 'niao'...

I usually order Wan-ton mee...and I notice that he count every piece of
char siew he puts on my mee...

and if he puts too much, he'll the out the extra and put back in the
bowl...

and usually I find FIVE pieces of small small char siew on my noodles,
no more no less..

wah lao eh. -.-"

"Uncle you best la, give me extra can? I pay?" (:

and he usually does, for a price la....but I still think it's favour
that he even allows it.. *grins*

I love my job! (:

and that's about the mee-pok today...

stay tuned, the next time I'll tell you about the evil MARIO UNCLE! (:
muahahaha

bus.

2008-02-27T04:28:00.000+08:00

I went on a double-decker bus today.

when I was about to take a seat on the second deck..

some old lady stopped me...and she looked really worried..

so I asked her "Aunty, what happened?"

and the old lady replied:
"ah boy ar, don't take go upstairs.."

so I asked why?

and the old lady, now looking really pale said.

"Upstairs no driver"

:)

sooo....

2008-02-26T07:28:00.000+08:00

thanks for reminding me about footstools and all.

I forgot what was under my foot.

just do what you deem fit.

just have your way.

I agree with everything you say, everything you'll do.

I have a good opinion of you, that you'll set things right...

so I'm letting you do what you wanna do.

causeee...I'm kinda lost on what to do now. haha..so you do it larrr...

so Jesus,
keep me small and inside your heart.

sword and shield.

2008-02-25T20:07:00.000+08:00

imagine the world's sharpest sword.
a sword so strong and sharp that it can cut through everything....

and imagine the world's most impenetrable shield.
so hard, so sturdy that nothing can break or cut through it.

now imagine....
pitting these two together....

what would happen if the sharpest sword meets the hardest shield?

impossible to even fathom right?

that was what exactly happen at my cross.

my God became man...and died.

God cannot die can he?
and moreover how in the world can an immortal turn mortal?

just to save me from my sins and shortcomings, daddyGod hatched a plan so impossible, so infathomable.

to send his only son to take human flesh.to hang on the cross bearing the wrath that I deserve.

how can the universes' strongest power come against itself?

like how the sharpest world can cut the hardest shield?

but daddyGod did, he cut Jesus on my behalf even how impossible it seems.

Jesus could die. and for once and once only - an immortal died as a mortal.

and I am saved. knowing what was dead is dead - now the risen Christ lives.

I made many mistakes today.

Jesus is my hardest shield. and is my strongest sword.
the power doesn't lie in my ability not to sin (miss the mark)

but the power is held by my Jesus solely - not sin, not my shortcomings and definitely not the devil.

and strongest sword met the hardest shield once.
and will never meet ever again.

because both are wielded by my Savior for my benefit.

now which weapon formed against me can prosper?
what opposition can stop me?

and I know my mistakes cannot outrun and ruin the grace of God in my life.

(sand castles crumble. but the faithfulness of my God doesn't)

I can't out-mistake grace.

tomorrow will be a better day. yes. my mistakes are washed by the blood.

castles revisited. (:

2008-02-25T04:08:00.000+08:00

its was such a wonderful rest yesterday night.

amazingly I stayed up last night till 2am. (I'm not a owl. haha so it's
amazing)

apart from camping in multiply looking at all the quirky comments
posted and reading beautiful entries online.

It was an amazingly anointed time of worship for me... suddenly skills
to strum and pluck strings like never before, started manifesting last
night.

my favourite moment was playing 'Still' over and over again. each
moment a different style. each moment more beautiful. (especially the
nice intro part which I figured out how to play) and I simply couldn't
sleep...

my heart was just burning with passion, especially after sucha
wonderful service.

a service which a you see dead dreams - resurrected. cold hearts -
relighted. mourning into - dancing. old and wrinkled into - youthful
and restored.

haha due to the lack of a better term..I shall use the word 'old'
sparingly...hahaha... but it was so fun seeing 'old' people jumping to
the music. it was fun seeing 'Abram's turn to 'Abraham's, 'Sarai's into
'Sarah's... (:

what was usually seen in the youth ministry in now manifesting like
never before in the main service.... gosh we scream and shout for Jesus
every Saturday. but yesterday felt like a victory cry during a
feast...a thundering victory roar from the cubs of the Lion of Judah!

what a joy to see my dream being played out in real-time. to see the
passage from Isaiah being reenacted...

"Isa 40:31 But those who are waiting for the Lord will have new
strength; they will get
wings like eagles: running, they will not be tired, and walking, they
will have no weariness."

and amazingly before this famous verse is this....

A voice of one saying, Give
a cry! And I said, style="font-style: italic;">What is my cry to be?
All flesh is grass, and all its strength like the flower of the field.

You who give good news
to Zion, get up into the high mountain; you who give good
news to Jerusalem, let your
voice be strong; let it be sounding without fear;
say to the towns of Judah, See, your God!

See, the Lord God will
come as a strong one, ruling in
power: see, those made
free by him are with him, and those whom he has made safe
go before him.

He will give food to his flock like a keeper of sheep; with his arm he
will get it together, and will take up the lambs on his breast, gently
guiding those which are with young. (Isaiah 40 : 6, 9-11)

and after giving out a cry, strong and without fear...you find the
portion where we take up the wings of eagles.. (:

wah so blessed la!!! (:

and I'm still so thankful, I woke up grinning like never before, and
after reading that verse, i grined more, I'm sure my lips are touching
my ears already..haha..

I woke up rested like never before, thankful so thankful because I woke
up to see grace in motion again. - yes, the world may be very harsh and
unfair....but the more harsh the world is...the more unfair
circumstances are... I'm assured that grace has already made a way
through the harshness. and I'm assured that even if the circumstances
are unfair. daddyGod YOU ARE UNFAIRLY GOOD TO ME! (:

what a way to wake up. (daddyGod let this happen every waking moment..)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the boy was at the beach once again.

but today was special, the boy met new friend.

another boy was building sand castles beside his favourite spot.

the boy was delighted, he had found a fellow castle builder.

the boy introduced himself as David, and found out that his new friend
was called Hank.

both boys had beautiful sand castles

except that David had his castles built by his Father.

but Hank made his castles by himself.

now Hank was a perfectionist.

the castle had to be symmetrical;

the wall had to be of a certain thickness.

Hank was proud of his castle because he made it.

David had lots of fun chatting with his new friend,

watching how Hank slowly but carefully moulded his castle.

But one thing David noticed about Hank is that Hank left the beach sad,

sad that his beautiful castle crumbling to water from the rising tide.

David encouraged Hank - "Don't worry, we'll come back again, sand
castles can always be built again"

but Hank just went home very sad indeed.

To David every waking moment was an adventure.

every morning was a new chapter to write on. every day was a heroic
moment.

As long as Daddy was around, David could be sure of an impending
adventure,

whether it was a road trip to nowhere, or a day in the beach. David
lived each day at a time.

as the years went by, both boys grew up together, went to school
together and finally both graduated from University.

David became a Civil Engineer, building bridges and strong skyscapers.

Hank became a Broker and rose up to the ranks of the hot shots in Wall
Street.

David lived his dream of building stuctures, once building sand castles
but today building earthquake-proof towers.

Hank on the other hand became a very wealthy young man. He built a
business empire, corporations after corporations.

Enterprises after enterprises, Hank once building sand castles, but
today building a business empire.

David, though not earning millions led a very comfortable life,

David never lacked and even had enough to look after his father, who is
now in his golden years.

Soon David was married to a very beautiful lady and moved to a seaside
cottage.

He still believed in adventures and brought his son to the beach to
build sand castles.

Hank was a charming young man, he went from clubs to clubs, dated women
after women.

but was never really happy. He had millions but no money could buy true
love.

once day, the stock market crashed.

and a familiar moment reenacted,

like waves crashing on the wall of a sand castle.

Hank's business empire crumbled with the crashing of the stock market.

and Hank never really recovered from the crash.

but he remembered familiar words a childhood friend once said.

"Don't worry, we'll come back again, sand castles can always be built
again"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

:) sand castles can always be built again.

but it doesn't really matter - when the sand castles are the works of
your daddy's hands.

what failure and problems can overshadow the faithfulness of your
heavenly father?

simple, rest in his embrace - tomorrow would be a new adventure, new
day for fresh beginnings.

a new day for new sand castles. a new day was more blessings than the
last.

it's good enough to know with each passing day there is one less giant

but a greater blessing to know each day my grapes are growing bigger.

Each new day is a day closer to the return of my King and I'm looking
forward to that more than ever.

thank-you.

2008-02-24T18:39:00.000+08:00

speechless...at loss for words.

thankful - I think that's just apt.

apt to express all I'm feeling now.

thankful thankful thankful.

thankful for everything to be thanked for.

while countless of thanks-giving had been made by countless of people before.

I'm making this personal thankyou to a very personal God. (who personally died, specifically for me)

I wanna make every waking moment - a thankyou moment.

not a thankyou for a job well done.

not a thankyou for a miracle witnessed.

thankyou because He is all worth thanking for.

thankyou. for being my God. (:

I want to wake up, even if the day before was an utter nightmare - just to say thankyou.

thankyou daddyGod for being in control.

~~~~

thankyou for a fleshshaking,scaledropping,soulhugging,hellbusting,lovehealing message just now.

forget everything else - all my human knowledge and just hang on to this.

God is in control - everything will be alright - I am assured that my God will show up.

i don't even want to think about how good this problems can be bread for me. - I just want to be absorbed by the goodness and faithfulness of my daddyGod.

forget about the giants - i'm assured that you never leave me.

thankyou thankyou thankyou.

~~~~~

simple things - thankyou for keeping me alive - I'm sure I'm quite fragile as a human being - if not for daddyGod even brushing my teeth can be a very hazardous act - my life is inscribed on his hands - I won't be snuffed out so easily.

thankyou for allowing me to wake up every morning - even if waking up means facing this harsh harsh world - it ain't so harsh when I wake up seeing you mighty hand over me.

simple things - thankyou for the bus and my eyes to see beautiful things as the bus travels.

thankyou.

~~~~~~~~

thankyou for wonderful dinners with precious people.

thankyou for precious time spent fellowshipping.

thankyou for four special people at dinner just now. thankyou for that, yes.

-thankyou for the grin on my face saying this.

~~~~~~~~

a boy was at the beach.
very proud of the castle his father made for him.

a stranger asked the boy:
"did you make this wonderful castle?"

"no, my daddy made it. but it is MY castle" said the boy, grinning.
"how can it be yours if you didn't make it?"
asked the puzzled stranger.

"daddy made it for me" replied the boy, still grinning.
the boy loved the sandcastle, he made little knights using twigs
and made the king from a pebble. the boy was very proud of the castle indeed.

the sky turned a crimson red,
the sun began it's descend into the horizon,

the boy watched the sky as it was painted with beautiful hues,
soon the wave starting crashing and the tide began it's rise.

the heavily fortified walls of the boy's beloved castle began to crumble,
the boy watched as the castle was devoured by the waters,
and saw the twig knights meet their watery grave.

the boy turned to his father,
"lets go now daddy" He said,
"we had fun today didn't we, let back back again some other day"
with a grin he held his father hand, headed home, pleased and content.

we can do the same can't we,
let our castles in the sand crumble - yet have his hand in our's saying "lets go home"

thankyou for beautiful sand castles - memories of events passed, blessings recieved, and people met.

though some memories fade with time, I know I can turn to you can say "thankyou daddyGod, i'm pleased and content"

beacause my hand in yours, and yours in mine.

now lets head home.

jungle

2008-02-21T11:36:00.000+08:00

verbal vomit, unhappy faces

backstabbing, stepping on toes.

It's wild in this office, a jungle out here.

dislike and hate lurks around this place.

creepy.

(besides I still don't like her, though I really do forgive her
evilness, even if I don't see change. - yet.)

(crazy woman. I hope to see gold in you. I pray you meet the true gold.
heh.)

God of the Valley.

2008-02-20T06:12:00.000+08:00

I really really liked today's devotional from church.....

haha, it's something really fresh, and I'm truly glad the daddyGod is
God of my Valleys. King over the floods. (:

So I wrote a song about it. daddyGod being MY constant companion, God
of my Valley.

and it's so fun writing songs, I really enjoy typing them out. Well I
don't post up every song I write though..haha.. I just like typing
them... and I'm uber glad to be able to even type a few word just to
praise my daddyGod...

To write a song, make melody in your heart. I've learnt this, not many
people write songs knowing it might go round the world mnistering
(think Shout to the Lord), it doesn't matter. I guess song
writing is NEVER hard, because it only the matter of giving praise to
our daddyGod... and that praise ministers to people.

We're not record artistes, we don't not have pressure to write
commercial selling songs, but even if I write a song that is
incoherent, as long as it brings praise to my daddyGod, as far as
daddy's concerned - He LOVES it. (:

I like what Pastor Benjamin once said... It went along the lines of
'making melody in your heart', to me, I think Pastor is telling us,
make melody - sing in your heart!, let the joy of the Lord manifest
from the inside out. Circumstances outside may disagree, but having joy
inside make you stronger inside-out. (:

and yea! you all worship leaders or music min people who blogged about
this before.. Thankyou!! I loved every word you've typed. (:

enjoy this one - I liked it..haha..

God
of the Valley. (Feb 08)

You laid aside your majesty,

gave up the throne to rescue me.

Came down from heaven to be my Savior.

You are with me wherever I go,

Your grace uplifts me when I am low.

Your love transformed my soul!

Chorus:

You are the God of the Valley

The God that is for me.

You are the God of the Valley,

The God that rescued me.

My battles I give up to you,

You’ll be with me where I go,

You’ll bring me out of the valley!

Bridge:

Higher than the mountains,

Deeper than the valleys,

There’s no where your grace cannot go.

You find me, protect me,

Your grace has transformed my soul.

i am a urban psalmist. (:

2008-02-19T06:59:00.000+08:00

my work is my worship.

my job is the altar.

my boss is blessed because I'm the david
(Beloved) Son of God sitting outside her office, doing do
good works.

my reports are psalms, my minutes are hymns.

my every action brings praise to my God.

when I type a report, write a statement - the glory of God infuses my
fingers and unto the keyboard.

my office, my table is sacred. because I worship here.

I do not worship the monitor before me, nor idolise my uniform.

I do believe these are platforms for me to glorious my yahweh. The whom
I worship.

I pick up a call - favour surrounds me.

I deliver a confidential report - His grace protects me.

I fire my weapon - His wisdom enables me to hit the mark.

I fax a document - glory shines through.

I defend my Nation - His favour is my shield

now tell me, which part of National Service is not glorious and
praise-worthy?

~~~~~~~

I've tasted bitterness only to find out how sweet and abundant grace is.

I've savoured grace.

I can only thirst for the grace I've tasted, hunger for favour that
filled me.

*note to all skeptics and mockers, even if times of peace we still need
grace, even if you're given the simplest of jobs, you'll still need
grace. It's the simplicitiy of grace and it's power that raises even
road-sweepers to the likes of a President. sai-kang warriors to
National heroes.

don't give me the lame excuse of difficulty that makes you more noble.
because once you trust your own strength, you deny grace.

don't give me the lame excuse of simplicity - doesn't mean it's simple
means it's worthless.

because mustard seeds can move mountains.

~~~~~~~~

my work is worship,

my office, the altar,

the gun is carry is my instrument,

and the files I carry, my song.

a kingdom.

2008-02-18T17:40:00.000+08:00

imagine a tyrant,

once a subject of the former King.

...murdered His Lord in cold blood and usurped the Throne.

He ruled the Kingdom with an iron fist, demanded tribute from all, even from the outskirts of the kingdom.
The tyrant, raised the taxes, treated his vassals as slaves. Only the tyrant and his overlords enjoyed the fruit of the land.

The tyrant demanded perfection.

the courtesans had to dress a certain manner.

only certain crops can be planted and a specific amount of grain is to be offered as tax..no more..no less..

even the poor had to beg in a specific manner if not they are thrown to the dungeon.

then came a hero.

a knight from the former order of the King. a knight who swore a blood oath to his Lord.
and this knight had to avenge the treachery upon his master's blood.

So the hero, with his fellow knights from the former order, rode to the tyrant's castle.

and fought their way to the steps of the tainted throne.

....much blood was shed, many knights fell under the sword of the tyrant's guards.

but the hero prevailed, slew the perfidious tyrant. And presented his head to the suffering folk. And declared freedom to the land.

the people rejoiced and beseeched the hero to become their King.

and so the people enthroned the hero and made his fellow knights - dukes.

but as soon as the hero came to power.

the people returned to their previous ways.

the courtesans returned to the palace, bringing along the perfection they've attained through the years.

the King pleaded with the women. "Return to your homes, you are free"

but the women refused and pleaded to stay, but the King who didn't believe in virtueless entertainment, sent them away.

the peasants still paid their taxes, the same amount the tyrant demanded. They grew the same crops and still went through heavy labour.

the King pleaded, "brethen, need not you follow the ways of old, you are free men, I require nothing but only a small token. I desire to rob nothing from your livelihood."

but the men refused and were appalled at the request and chased the King and his men away from their land.

though the King had set the kingdom free from the presence of the tyrant. but the folk were not free from the tyrant's rule. in their hearts were duty and perfection.

the King lamented,

"I had not demanded perfection for your salvation, why do you demand perfection from yourself? why do you demand to work for what I've already given you? Why yoke yourself to bondage I've already broken?

~~~
the same.

if Jesus didn't demand perfection for us to be saved..why demand perfection upon ourselves now?

if Jesus had died on the cross as payment for our sin,

why should we atone for our shortcomings?

It's the blood of Jesus that perfects us.

duty insults grace.

the tithe is not tax. neither is the work of our hands - tribute.

(: but all that I do is the result of my salvation.

I do what I do, I live because I am free.

only the free can truly offer sacrifice.

only the free has a will. and sacrifice requires will.

worship is a choice. (:

grace is a decision. the decision made to save me, love, perfect and prosper me.

主就是爱

2008-02-18T04:41:00.000+08:00

神阿，你是拯救我的神。

求你救我脱离流人血的罪。

我的舌头就高声歌唱你的公义。

主阿，求你使我的嘴唇张开，

我的口便传扬赞美你的话。

你本不喜爱祭物。若喜爱，

我就献上。燔祭你也不喜悦。

神所要的祭，就是忧伤的灵。

神阿，忧伤痛悔的心，你必不轻看。

~主阿, 赞美你的大爱

canvas.

2008-02-17T18:55:00.000+08:00

the treasures of this artist lay hidden,
it lies the strokes, the form and colour.

in his mind's eye he finds meaning;
and he paints a picture, transcribing life to canvas.

he hides a secret, a lovely one inside.
and he only reveals the truth to loved ones, though few

a secret for one to seek and find.
a reward ensues for the one who sees it.

~~~

I really enjoyed today's sermon... not only did it set many hearts on fire..

it's really really brought many to a closer relationship to Jesus...

to know is to seek.

what a relationship to have with Jesus... He gave us space to ask...

space to seek. space to recieve...

after He gave us freewill... not every blessings is recieved, though given...

He gave us a chance to choose..to want or not to want...

maybe that's why He let us seek...

it's glory to seek....because He promised I would find.

thankyou Lord... enlarge my vision...thankyou for changing my life life today daddyGod.

bring me deeper...deeper into your heart... I want to know you intimately.. (:

broken fiddle

2008-02-17T06:34:00.000+08:00

some classical music superstar broke a million dollar violin...

"David Garrett, a former model who has been called the David Beckham of the classical scene, said he tripped while carrying his 18th century violin as he was leaving London's Barbican Hall after a performance, smashing it to bits." - Yahoo! News

ouch...now that's a bummer...

I had my beloved guitar cracked in half before....Mr Garrett..I know your pain mans...

haha all wells on a positive note... I'm excited for service later...and for CG next week!!

and I'm feeling so so so much stronger and very much ministered to yesterday.. (:

oh oh ohh..and I've signed up with the arrow EVENTS ministry!! woohoo! my dreams have been fulfilled! I'm finally returning to ministry after about a year of hiatus and preparation...

I'm gonna serve and be served! even if I'm in NS now.. (:

woohoo!!! Arrow camp and the Zone concert here I come!!! (:

(thankyou thankyou daddyGod.)

thankyou.

2008-02-16T20:34:00.000+08:00

with all honesty and integity.

thankyou special people who are real to me.

Because I know, and I see..

I am nothing. a void, im empty.

I'm only but a space.

I was the murderer, the thief and the slave.
(not me but my flesh)

I am simply nothing....nothing but a grace canvas...

a masterpiece in motion,
poetry without ending.

I cannot be a good friend, brother, or father...
I simply cannot amount to anything
without the grace of God indeed I cannot.

but I am the the living grace letter.
the one who's ink is Christ.
whose work is the flow of powerful grace.

I not the product of grace.
I am grace incarnate. grace manifested.

I am Christ's.

(:

eyes of grace, heart that hears...

2008-02-16T20:23:00.000+08:00

after the episode of the daddyGod teaching me how to see... (coincidentally pastor preached on this today...)

another episode in my life starts...

now dad's 'trying' to disown me... starts blabbering rubbish... both to me and my mom...

great... now my question is... "the devil isn't getting any creative in his attacks eh?"

how many times in this month has the enemy tried to drive me insane or at least attempt to hurt my heart so badly?

many times I fall for the same damned trick over and over again...

now today la... im glad for eyes of grace...

because my parents are on a verge of divorce...yada yada yada....

not like I'm really concerned because my dad's drunk now...my mom's not very rational...and I'm supposed to do my work now....

but this is their issue.... they have to settle this themselves... they're already grown adults... gosh..please settle this peacefully and let me off from this crazy round-a-bout...

it's nobody's fault alrighty? (:

daddyGod's you're not a miracle worker... you're my father... you protected me...and you still are protecting me...and on my behalf...send angels to guard these adults?

no, I'm not putting up a false front... I'm taking this chance to let daddyGod increase his glory in me...and to let me grown deeper into his love...

but please let this melodramatic surreal soup opera end? show the credits already!

this is just really bad vibes...thankyou very much.

oh....my...oh my...

Lord, this is only a beginning of major healing in my heart.... this poison has to be purged...from my heart and my mind... thankyou for ministering to me even the tables are banged and voices flare... (:

what disowning? my heavenly will never leave me an orphan.

~~~~~~

where poison seeps and seek to destroy.
where decay has taken place.

what has been broken, stolen from it's place.
it started with anger, pain then depair.

it's festers to hate, the man in depair.
time plays a painful game, binding in chains.

the man is tired, drained and binded by chains.
he is too blind, by hate and by shame.

where is the solution?
where is salvation?

a heart that is broken, hear this tonight.
a life that is shattered, don't turn away.

there is a healer, i know his name.
he can do wonders, he'll make a way.

who can stop him, this God yet a man?
who can deter him, he entered the grave?

water turns to wine; too, sorrows turn to joy.
there is nothing to too impossible, nothing too grave.

there is a solution I know his name.
grace wrote a story, freedom from pain.

He is salvation, yes that's his name.
yeshua hamashiach, he saves all; heals pain.

tarry not, and fear not.
the messiah's on his way.

in quiet groanings, and secret prayer.
let go, he has made a way.

he is the way.

~~~~~~

finally some peace and quiet..dad's gone to bed.

i've worshipped and i still worship today.

i've praised Him yet still His praise in on my lips.

nothing is too hard for God.

I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.

Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don't for a moment escape God's notice.

i won't stop believing. i won't stop recieving.

you're all i've got. all i need. I have it all.

selah.

everyday's vday!

2008-02-14T19:48:00.000+08:00

looks like Jesus aint done with my heart...

Esther just reminded me of a verse I held on so much to in the 'growing pains' seasons....

Psalms 51:16-17 - The Message Bible
Going through the motions doesn't please you,
a flawless performance is nothing to you.
I learned God-worship
when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love
don't for a moment escape God's notice.

mans...what a verse for the dark moments...

I grew up on this verse during secondary school... this the verse that kept condemnation at bay and made love flow into my heart....

the verse that made me who I am today..that changed a shy, emo and 'normal' boy to a person who loves...who laughs madly...does crazy things...

and it's times for me to swallow this verse deeply again... haha... I need it (:

so esther.. you're not alone... it's nice to know you have a brother on the same boat!! (:

and Jesus is on the boat too!! we're NOT going down...because SHALOM's on His way! (:

love this verse... it has just made vday even more special to me...

Vday!

2008-02-14T19:25:00.000+08:00

I did not regret running all the way to tampines and taking half day leave just to meet some special people...

I did not regret asking Shavonne out for lunch.. (waniehua! it's not what you think!!! haha...)

I did not regret walking around Bedok reservoir and sitting at the mushroom waiting for her.. and get caught and interrogated by Wanhua...(what a coincidence!)

because the fellowship later on was gonna be so awesome!!!

welllll, we had Pastamania - didn't get my 30% discount though...should have used my student card..dang. (:

and we got Nic over!! (see waniehua it's NOT what you think..)

and here's the fun part...

We went to Starbucks and talk loads of funny nonsense! (woohoo!) and Joey was late (or at least just took really long to get to Starbucks..) so we joked that He would use a Dragonboat to travel here...

then Shavonne's mom called ..and we heard something along the lines on flowers...
(Nic said Shavonne could not breathe a word about this..well I could! haha..)

So I whispered to Nic...

Me: "Lets get flowers"

Nic: "Sure. Where?"

Me: "Outside"

Nic: "Ok, I stay here"

(other intelligible mouthing and lip reading..)

So I made a really convincing excuse..

Me: "Uh, I'm gonna look for Joey mans, come back later"

The rest: "ok lor.."

So I went out to a booth outside Isetan selling Roses...

Me: "Alrighty..You sell Roses....What's the least expensive one you have here.."
(the price list is very daunting..)

and gosh I regret even asking...

Here the sales lady brought out the bear thingy holding Roses.. "Here this is $70..."

(I thought..gosh.. that's the least expensive thing you sell??)

Me: "Um...how about the really nice bunch of Roses WITHOUT the bear?"

Sales lady: "Oh..that's $45"

Me: "woah....ok I'll take that.."

(without breaking a sweat)

"You accept NETS?"

Lady: "Yeah, payment is done at the counter.."

and gosh was I comical... bunch of Roses in paper bag...rushing back to Starbucks...

I felt funny... I've NEVER bought Roses...not on any other day.. especially not on Valentines day... so it was reallly awkward..

and Nic was like... "how much was it?"

(typiing on his hp's keypad"

"45."

haha and his face went.. -> :O

haha so I told him "It's ok, I'll cover the whole cost la.."

and just went Joey came in...

we presented Shavonne with the commercialised blood/sweat/tears inflated exorbitant pretty and nicely arranged bouquet of Roses..

(wah to be uber honest...- heart ache sia..haha...)

and Shavonne gave the silliest grin and laughed like a silly girl...

(wah...heart melt moment mans..)

and I told Nic..."Bro, worth it mans"

and the silly moment was so fun la... I've never heard such a silly chuckle before...

and that was part one... We send Shavonne off for squash training..(while making fun of using the bouquet as a racket, and poking fun at the Vice-Chairperson being able to turn up on Vday, while others 'pon-tang'..)

but this was the some amazing part of the fellowship....

After the brudders crapped and talked about many nonsensical things...

Joey said something so profound that He got from Jonathan (my ex-shepherd)

It had along the lines of how the caregroup was....and much 'trouble' are were...haha and how it took Him and Steve so much patience to shepherd such 'amazing' sheeps...

Joey quoted this part: "If I looked at you all with my natural eyes... I see trouble...wah lao I think in two months time I would quit being CGL...but it took much prayer...and I prayed that daddyGod would give me eyes to see you all by the eyes of Grace...to see the best in you all..not the worst..even though each of you all have many problems...I saw you all the way God sees you all...and I continued to to be CGL.."

wah at this point....the selah moment dawned on me...

Reuben Morgan's song - "World Through Your Eyes" played in my mind..

I liked the Chorus..

"Let me see forever
With eyes you’ve opened
Standing in your beautiful light
Hold me near
Hold me near to You
And let me see the world through Your eyes"

and that moment...everything I've believed in Grace was renewed...

You know I've been serving in ministries that require contact with people.. (Ambs, Gems)

and I've learnt to see people the way daddyGod would see them...

and that taught me to be tolerant with my kiddos...and my newcomers...

So I could totally related with what Jon said...(and I remember him sharing it countless of times)

but along the way.. I forgot to extend such grace to myself...

sure it's easy to extend grace to others...it's easy for a heart saturated with daddyGod's supernatural love for people...

but I didn't spare myself when I made mistakes...grave or not..

I forgot to extend grace to one important person.. - me.

I always say "It hard to give another, something you don't receive yourself."

and dang, it's true... not wonder recently sometimes it felt hard to extend grace to another..

I stop showing grace to myself...the repercussion is the inability to show grace to another..

(because I can't give what I dont have)

my point in this whole 'selah' moment is...

it's time to stop being legalistc and self absorbed...

and take time to see myself through the eyes of Grace...

"and I remember how You saw me
through the eyes of Your grace
and though the cost was Your beloved for me
still You made a way"

and i see the gold in me in the reflection of my other standing board...

I feel so set free today...

Valentines Day this year was awesome..but I've been woo-ed by the lover of my Soul...

(it's been a long post.. but I'm grinning silly now)

Lord, let me be saturated with your grace and love. I can't fall beyond your reach. you embrace me (:

search no more.

2008-02-14T05:25:00.000+08:00

i've been like a dog chasing after my own tail...
running around in circles..

I thirst for victory, like a man parched in a desert..

I thirst for restoration, Iike a need a makeover...

my soul needs refreshing like the need of a green oasis.

I need life.

and an amazing offer was made.

"I've come to give life and life more abundantly."

Three words said. And I've made my decision.

"Search no more."

man.

2008-02-13T14:41:00.000+08:00

what makes a man cry?

it's not in pain;
but when a fellow comrade is slain.

it's not hate;
but intense betrayal.

it's not in losing something;
but losing someone.

it's not being lost;
but losing himself.

it doesn't take a bullet wound;
but a wounded brother.

it's not the war;
it's the people hurt.

it's not sorrow;
but bitterness.

it's not weakness;
but strength abated.

it's not shame;
but dishonour.

it's doesn't take a stab to hurt a man.
but it took a slap to hurt him.

it's not about death;
it's a separation.

tell a man He cannot do.
don't tell him He can't.

insult a man;
do not insult his parents.

hurt and harm him,
do not harm the ones he loves.

a man doesn't cry - alone,
a man cries - lonely.

a man doesn't cry with tears alone,
he cries and groans from his spirit.

it's not in losing it all;
it's not seeing them again.

it's not about losing;
it's when strength is sapped.

man.

what made a man cry.

it wasn't betrayal,
it's was losing a friend.

it's wasn't the pain,
it was not going through it.

it's wasn't death,
it was about friendship.

it couldn't take a storm;
it took a garden.

it didn't take a thorns and nails and two wooden beam,
it took suffering loved ones.

it didn't take insults and pain,
it took people ignorant and going their way.

it wasn't being alone,
it was being without the other forever.

Jesus.

all guarded mans..

2008-02-13T08:44:00.000+08:00

and so I wanted to read the bible...

I wanted to stop doing my work..stop typing my minutes...

It's lunchtime.. I need to feed.

and there... an apt verse for the moment...

-now in different flavours..- :)

1 Samuel 22:23

The Message (MSG)

Verses 22-23

David said to Abiathar, "I knew it—that day I saw Doeg the Edomite there, I knew he'd tell Saul. I'm to blame for the death of everyone in your father's family. Stay here with me. Don't be afraid. The one out to kill you is out to kill me, too. Stick with me. I'll protect you."

Amplified Bible (AMP)

23Stay with me, fear not; for he who seeks my life seeks your life. But with me you shall be safeguarded.

New King James Version (NKJV)

23 Stay with me; do not fear. For he who seeks my life seeks your life, but with me you shall be safe.”

New Living Translation (NLT)

23 Stay here with me, and don’t be afraid. I will protect you with my own life, for the same person wants to kill us both.”

and wow, this meant a squillion things to me

Jesus' great grand daddy said this to one of the priest...

I'm sure such royalty and 'paternalism' runs in the genes...

Because I'm egg sure Jesus is for me...and his words - "I will protect you with my own life" simply affirms it...

back to work...meeting meeting.. (:

and it goes on...

2008-02-12T16:58:00.000+08:00

"Stop being so absorbed with yourself!" - Said the Man.

"You can't fly without the wind of Grace!"

But the kite did not not heed the words of his maker.

Pride got the better of him. And He thought he didn't need grace to fly, all he needed is his wide wings, and so...

The kite fell.

Spiralled down to towards the ground, but before the kite crashed, two strong arms reached out..

and broke the kite's fall.

"I told you, you can't fly without the wind of Grace."

and He carried the kite back to the shed and did some repairs to the kite.

"but I'll make sure you fly again - no matter who many times you fall, you'll live your dream of flying.."

"to fly only by Grace"

"Only by Grace."

Wind.

2008-02-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

to keep afloat...

let the wind of Grace blow..and carry you...

and constantly, and faithfully...the wind of daddyGod's Grace will keep on keeping you high..

and flying.. (:

The Kite.

2008-02-11T07:42:00.000+08:00

I'm finally done with this short story. I intended it to be released
slowly in five parts. But well since I'm done with it might as well
link them up and present the whole prose to you all. (:

Do enjoy this short story. And yes there's a accompanying hymn with
this..haha.. (:

Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound!

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, But now am found

Was blind but now I see.

'Twas
grace that taught my heart to fear.

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed!

Through
many dangers, toils and snares

I have already come.

'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home!

The
Lord has promised good to me,

His word my hope secures;

He will my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures.

Yes,
when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease;

I shall possess within the vail,

A life of joy and peace!

The earth shall soon dissolve like
snow,

The sun forbear to shine;

But God who called me here below

Shall be forever mine!

Shall
be forever mine!

by John Newton, Clerk, once an infidel and libertine, a servant of
slaves in Africa, was, by the rich mercy of our Lord and Saviour Jesus
Christ, preserved, restored, pardoned, and appointed to preach the
faith he had long labored to destroy. (as from href="http://www.gospelweb.net/JohnNewton/newtontombstone.htm">his
href="http://www.gospelweb.net/JohnNewton/newtontombstone.htm">epitaph)

~~~~~~~~

Chapter
1

Once a kite was made, with many shades and colours.

it was beautiful with a pretty tail.

but the kite never got to fly.

it never touched the sky nor did it caress the wind.

though the kite was made to fly,

without the wind, it just lay on the table.

there were times a gentle breeze blew,

the kite felt the breeze but stayed still.

"is this flying?" thought the kite.

without a gust, or a squall,

the kite mistook a breeze for the wind...

Chapter
2

...then came the sweltering heat of April’s sun,

the kite lay on the table basking in summer’s heat;

blending in with the multitudes of heather and amaranthus,

at a brief glance, one might mistake the kite for one of the summer
blossoms.

One day, the kite befriended a bee,

who often visits the garden where he stayed.

While the bee was busily buzzing around with her duties.

the kite posed a question to the bee.

Though hesitated, the kite asked the striped bumblebee:

“How do you fly?”

Sally, the bumblebee, still buzzing replied with a drawl:

“Well, Mr Kite you’ve asked the right gal,

when it comes to flying, us bumblebees clock the most miles.”

The kite was elated, his tail twirled with joy.

“Finally, my chance off this table and into the sky!”

So the kite listened intently as the bee lectured on flight...

Chapter
3

...buzzing busily was Sally, giving her lecture on flight,

the dynamics of flight, the philosophy of flight and…

‘how to fly’ - the kite’s favourite subject.

When Sally finally came to the part of ‘how to fly’,

She simply said this:

“Flutter your wings vigorously, don’t stop trying,

flap till you fly, if you not flying, it’s obvious you’re not trying!”

Now the kite was confused, “How much flapping is enough?”

Sally looked at the kite, puzzled and surprised.

“Don’cha know you gotta keep working those wings,

there is never ‘enough’, ever saw a bee not working?”

and she scoffed at the kite and buzzed away.

Now the kite was alone, he tried flapping,

but you know kites don’t flap – they can’t.

So the kite lay on the table,

not being able to even ‘float’ for a second.

He tried, it’s not like he did not,

But he could not.

So the kite could only glance at a sky He’ll never reach,

feel only a breeze but never fly.

It hurts to dream when you know you cannot live that dream....

Chapter
4

Another day went by; the kite of many colours lay on his table,

unable to do anything but witness the daily changes in the garden.

Summer has past, and fall has just merely began,

the kite envied even the falling leaves of the maple tree,

“Even they get to taste a short moment of ‘flight’

Before they land and become no more.

I would give anything to fly”

One morning the kite woke to the sound of chirping,

and he saw a family of sparrows in the wooden

birdhouse hung on the great maple tree.

“finally some friends” He thought.

the kite wiggled his brightly coloured tail,

hoping the sparrows would notice him;

and so they did. One little sparrow flew over to meet him.

“Hi, I’m Kim, I’m a sparrow, what are you? How’s your day?”

Said the little sparrow in one sentence without taking a breath.

While the kite was still trying to decipher what Kim just said,

the sparrow shot a few more questions to the poor kite:

“I know,I know! you’re a kite! Can you fly? Can you fly?,

Can you touch the rainbow? Nice tail! Who made it?”

As soon as Kim finished your sentence, her brother flew over.

“Kim, don’t talk to the dumb kite, Can’t you see? It can’t fly,

Now follow me back to the birdhouse, pronto. “ said her brother.

The kite was hurt;

The words of the sparrow cut deep into his little paper heart.

“How do you know I can’t fly?

Don’t you know that I’m just lying here, taking a break?”

rebutted the kite self-righteously.

(But inside the kite knew could not fly and he was lying)

So the sparrow calmly replied:

“I know you can’t, you have wings but you can’t flap them,

See that wooden cross you have there, it can never help you fly,

besides if dumb kite like you could fly,

you’ll wouldn’t be lying here in a garden shed. You should be in the
skies”

and the sparrow mocked the kite some more before he flew back to the
birdhouse.

And the kite was lonely once more.

He couldn’t live his dream, now he had no friends.

So the kite sighed, resigned to his fate.

And spent the winter alone.

Chapter
5

Winter blew a harsh tempest, the air was cold and stale.

The kite hid in the shed, hoping the chill would not consume him.

Day after day, the kite woke up seeing nothing but snow.

Winter wasn’t wonderland to the kite,

it was harsh and it reminded the kite of his fate.

“I’ll never fly, i’ll never amount to anything!” cried the kite.

With a constant squall and bitter gale,

The kite was finally numbed by the cold,

and dreaded the thought of the coming spring.

To spite himself, the kite tore away his pretty tail.

and snapped his wooden frame.

The kite was very bitter indeed.

and when spring finally arrived,

the kite looked as though he was dead.

Torn and tattered.

He looked nothing like the glorious kite He once was.

Numbed and silent the kite just lay on the table – lifeless.

A sorry sight to all who visited the shed.

But one sunny spring morning,

a man walked into the shed, and saw the poor broken kite.

without saying a word, he picked up the kite and placed on the
workbench.

He fixed the frame, replaced the wings and gave the kite a new tail.

The new frame looked better than before,

it was lacquered and glistened in the sun.

The wings were even more glorious then before.

it had a beautiful print of a eagle and it’s wings were wider than
before.

and the tail was longer and more beautiful than the last.

it was purple, blue, and bright red, with streaks of gold and silver
all over.

“Do you remember me?” asked the stranger as he did final touch-up.

The kite couldn’t remember, it was all so long ago,

and the last thing he remembered was the winter.

“I made you.” said the man.

and the kite looked at the man’s face,

he couldn’t remember the face,

but suddenly the voice of the stranger felt strangely familiar.

“You made me?” asked the kite in disbelief.

“Yes, I made you.” replied the man, as he tied golden threads to the
kite’s frame.

and the man lifted the kite and said:

“I made you to fly.”

and a gust of wind blew and the kite flew.

He went higher and higher to the sky.

The kite was afraid. He had never taken flight before,

and suddenly He was so far away from the ground.

The man shouted:

“Don’t worry, the golden threads will never break, I’m
holding on to you!”

with this assurance, the kite flew higher.

and as the kite climbed higher into the sky,

he meet some familiar faces.

Sally, the bumblebee who believed you need to work to fly.

Kim’s older brother, the sparrow who mocked the kite and laughed at his
frame.

the kite smiled at them as he flew higher than all of them.

He realised that he didn’t need to flap to fly and he was made to fly.

and all he needed was someone who believed in him,

and of course the wind not a breeze!

The bee and the sparrow stared in shock and wonder at the kite.

“How did he fly?”

Simple, by the strength of the wind.

and that wind was grace.

Chapter 2 - His eye is on the sparrow

2008-02-08T12:17:00.000+08:00

Another of my favourite hymns... but in no way related to the story.. (:
but it does get you in the 'mood' doesn't it?

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy,
I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

~~~~~

…then came the sweltering heat of April’s sun,
the kite lay on the table basking in summer’s heat;
blending in with the multitudes of heather and amaranthus,
at a brief glance, one might mistake the kite for one of the summer blossoms.

One day, the kite befriended a bee,
who often visits the garden where he stayed.
While the bee was busily buzzing around with her duties.
the kite posed a question to the bee.
Though hesitated, the kite asked the striped bumblebee:
“How do you fly?”

Sally, the bumblebee, still buzzing replied with a drawl:
“Well, Mr Kite you’ve asked the right gal,
when it comes to flying, us bumblebees clock the most miles.”
The kite was elated, his tail twirled with joy.
“Finally, my chance off this table and into the sky!”
So the kite listened intently as the bee lectured on flight…

Chapter One - I need thee every hour..

2008-02-05T16:48:00.000+08:00

When I think I'm going under, part the waters, Lord
When I feel the waves around me, calm the sea
When I cry for help, oh, hear me, Lord and hold out Your hand
Touch my life
Still the raging storm in me

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

Refrain
I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.

--------

Once a kite was made, with many shades and colours.
it was beautiful with a pretty tail.

but the kite never got to fly.
it never touched the sky nor did it caress the wind.

though the kite was made to fly,
without the wind, it just lay on the table.

there were times a gentle breeze blew,
the kite felt the breeze but stayed still.

"is this flying?" thought the kite.
without a gust, or a squall,
the kite mistook a breeze for the wind...

second by second.

2008-02-04T06:46:00.000+08:00

wooo, another blunder on another day...

another sin forgiven, another punishment paid for.

another mistake not imputed, another stumble protected...

it's moment like this that humbles me time and time again...

tell me again...what are all these - problems, stess, mistakes?

God is for me, tell who or what can be against me? (No weapon can prevail)

Minute by minute, second by second, He whispers love letters to me...

(the bible is a series of love letters, right from Genesis to maps!)

meeting meeting where's your sting?

exams exams, I'm assured He's there.

treasure.

2008-01-28T17:45:00.000+08:00

i am your moon.

2008-01-28T10:49:00.000+08:00

dear Jesus, you are my sunshine.

and I am your moon.....

I can't see my wooden-ness anymore,
even if I try, mirror would just show...Gold.

I can't help but reflect you.

not here.

2008-01-27T11:03:00.000+08:00

and there he laid, peaceful as ever, unshaken by the wailing and mourning.

and I saw him young again, with Jesus.

then there was a whisper,

"He is not here, for he has risen."

yeah, that's just an empty shell going to be burnt.

that ain't him, he has risen.

and when they sung amazing grace the hymn didn't sound so funeral-ish anymore.

I've been crucified with Christ.

selah.

2008-01-26T06:52:00.000+08:00

(:

i like what des shared yesterday.

the most important thing.

-love.

simple. that's how romans 828 works is through lolo-oo-vee-ee.

I'm humbled again this morning. thankyou daddyGod.

and thankyou Lord for showing me the preciousness of the smile. it must have been very expensive for you to purchase my smile.

because the receipt states that you paid for it with...Your life?

thankyou Lord, and you said it was worth it.

selah.

smile.

2008-01-25T07:45:00.000+08:00

i just need a twitch of a muscle.

Lord, find back my smile again. where did I put it? haha...

and yes...where's that dimple?

awake.

2008-01-24T18:19:00.000+08:00

I attended the wake of my great grand uncle...

and there His body laid, peaceful and silent.

I wasn't really close to him, didn't have much memories of him...

but I looked at him and grimaced at first, then smiled...

Yeah, He's surely not alive here now.

but I'm really sure He's having a heaven of a time there with Jesus...

(praise God, He recieved Jesus before He slept)

I was jealous of Him though...

I took a walk and saw the stars, and I was jealous...

He is in a much much better place now...and knowing that I spoke to Him (I'm pretty He canh hear me if he is near Jesus)

"Uncle, you must be enjoying yourself there...Though I don't really know you, and I'm sure to don't know me much... You can always asked Jesus about me..He knows me best..."

I left the wake...with the red cord and still thinking...

Uncle must be having a great time in heaven...

and I look forward to heaven...meanwhiles..I'l enjoy earth...but earth will never replace heaven.. (:

and He set eternity in my heart....

My yahweh will make heaven on earth...for me...

(and no I'm not depressed or suicidal...I'm just glad for my Uncle..He got to heaven faster..haha..)

Waiting for Spring

2008-01-24T12:43:00.000+08:00

Though cloudy skies, and northern blasts,

Retard the gentle spring awhile;

The sun will conqu'ror prove at last,

And nature wear a vernal smile.

2. The promise, which from age to age,

Has brought the changing seasons round;

Again shall calm the winter's rage,

Perfume the air, and paint the ground.

3. The virtue of that first command,

I know still does, and will prevail;

That while the earth itself shall stand,

The spring and summer shall not fail.

4. Such changes are for us decreed;

Believers have their winters too;

But spring shall certainly succeed,

And all their former life renew.

5. Winter and spring have each their use,

And each, in turn, his people know;

One kills the weeds their hearts produce,

The other makes their graces grow.

6. Though like dead trees awhile they seem,

Yet having life within their root,

The welcome spring's reviving beam

Draws forth their blossoms, leaves, and fruit.

7. But if the tree indeed be dead,

It feels no change, though spring return,

Its leafless naked, barren head,

Proclaims it only fit to burn.

8. Dear Lord, afford our souls a spring,

Thou know'st our winter has been long;

Shine forth, and warm our hearts to sing,

And thy rich grace shall be our song.

John Newton, 1779, from Olney Hymns, vol. 2, hymn 31

skeptics.

2008-01-24T11:12:00.000+08:00

they're everywhere, everywhere I tell you.

someone comes up to you and tells you in your face, without tact or sensitivity.

you can't _________

skeptics, they bite, they growl...they aim to bring you down...

one just told me..."you're under the non-promotional track, unless get a recommendation from Commander" - in others words you can get promoted.

I'm not taking in whatever you just said mister skeptic. and do have a nice day.

no no no, i'm not gonna be put down just because you said that. no!

I'm what you say, I'm the favoured Child of God.

so mr. skeptic...thank you very much for your info.

if it takes a recommendation, MY YAHWEH WILL GET ME A RECOMMENDATION.

and my boss supports me, my reporting officer is behind me.

and my ELOHIM HAS THE POWER TO MAKE ME A SERGEANT TOO.

it's not just you dude. you're not the only one with three 'V's on your shoulders.

I'm next.

*raise eyebrows*

besides, what is promotion? what is it??

It's not my life. but if it gives glory to my Father.

I'm gonna get it. without relent - I'm getting it.

not by my strength.

by grace. (:

Medley

2008-01-24T07:40:00.000+08:00

There is a song that’s sung
for ages, and ages to come.

of the Lord who saved my soul.

I will sing this song,
know of it’s lyrics,
dance to it’s melody.

For amazing grace,
So amazing grace,
I love His amazing grace.

I will sing His song,
Know of it’s lyrics,
Dance to it’s melody.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.
That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, but now I am found.
Once was blind but now I see…

Amazing Grace, so sweet the sound,
Has such wondrous attraction to me

I once was lost, but now I’m found,
Was blind but now I see…

Medley.

2008-01-22T12:01:00.000+08:00

There’s a story old that has often been told
Of how our Saviour died
As they nailed His hands
He cried, ‘They don’t understand’
As the blood flowed from His side

How can you refuse Him now?
How can you refuse Him now?
How can you turn away from His sight?

With tears in His eyes
On the cross where
He died How can you refuse Jesus now?

As He hung there on the tree
He prayed for you, prayed for me
There was no one His pain to ease
Before He died He faintly cried
Father forgive them please

I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus
I have decided to follow Jesus

No Turning back, No Turning back

The cross before me
The world behind me

No Turning back, No Turning back

Dream or Die [Boundless!]

2008-01-22T06:41:00.000+08:00

I like this article alot. (:

Makes me wanna go on missions. (:

Dream or Die - Boundless.org]

dreams.

2008-01-21T15:05:00.000+08:00

No dream is ever less beautiful than the other.

dreams aren't set dinners where you look at your neighbour's plate and think you ordered the wrong set.

dreams aren't grades to be compared with.

Your dreams are are unique as your make up...your design.
and you're of heavenly design. unique, a league of your own.

daddyGod declared. YOU ARE WONDERFULLY AND FEARFULLY(HONOURABLY) MADE.

unique you, judge your dreams wonderful and honourable.

in a novel, every character is important. every name has a story to tell.

so are you. your dreams are important and uniquely beautiful. (:

aha! moment!

2008-01-21T12:13:00.000+08:00

thankyou Pastor Prince for the awesome message yesterday. (:

because suddenly the bible seems even more alive than ever. It's jumping, leaping, doing cartwheels! (lol!) (:

I just read Psalm 23 again... (thankyou Lord for the freedom to do so in office!)

And the first two words of the Psalm stared at me..eye to eye...

What does it say?

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD.

and after the scales-dropping-from-eyes service yesterday, this verse seems so so different..

in fact, I liken this to the smell of fresh bread, I have not sunk my teeth into the bread yet I can taste of it's goodness.

Yahweh - the LORD is my shepherd.

notice the name 'Adonai' (Master) is not used in place for Lord. but YAHWEH, our covenant friend is our Shepherd LORD? (:

mans, and this is the FIRST verse of Psalm 23 only!! (:

In the valley by the Sea.

2008-01-21T06:12:00.000+08:00

I came acrros some info about the latest release by Hillsong United, and I'm amazed at how the United guys are growing!!

In the Valley, By the Sea is NOT a album it's an EP. (read below)

EP = Extended play (EP) is the name typically given to CDs which contain more music than a single, but are too short to qualify as albums. Usually, an EP has around 10–25 minutes of music, a single has up to 10 minutes and an album has 25–80 minutes.

and notice the top right hand corner of the CD cover art states "NEXT GEN EP"

Next Gen refers to a new breed of Hillsong United youths that Joel Houston asked to write songs for their Summer camp.

~~~
I'm kinda excited knowing that...because I can see Arrow and Dare having their own youth band forming.. (:

imagine being able to write songs for HM 08!

Lord, grant me my portion, give me this mountain!! (:

"On You I throw my life
Casting all my fears aside
How could greater love than this
Ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts
As I rest in You
I’m now in love
With a Saviour
Bearing the marks of His love

So I’ll wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith’s enough
To see mountains lift and move

And I’ll wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails"

simple pleasures.

2008-01-20T19:14:00.000+08:00

it's back to the basics again....

it's about having fun without excuses.
it's about being loves just as you are...

it's about knowing Him afresh...

SP-a and b. you've made such an impact to me in just such a short time. i GOD you all...

i'm surprised today, daddyGod you're the best in this...

Charis, thankyou, thankyou for delivering daddy's portion to me...and I knowing the daddy has given you such a unique at that point of time as well... you're a blessed shepherd. (:

and you you you guys, Alvin, summer, cherrie, timo, stevey, ting hui - you'll never know how much I thank daddyGod for you guys...I've found a precious gem in all of you...

and the beloved freshies, kumwai, ronald (tt), daryl...you are God's blessing to me....I'm so glad to have fellowshipped with you guys and being able to speak into your lives... ronald, thanks for being my new kaki to cheerful rides home.. (:

des, no words can express how thankful and surprised at how you've shown my so much grace. (:

daddyGod, you've done as you've promised. you've given me a fertile ground...not just to grow...but also to sow....I'll give my life to these precious people... like ronald has taught me... It's for your glory. (:

yahweh, your heart moves in mighty ways....
elohim, your hand uplifts me to where you heart leads me...

thankyou abba, I've truly enjoyed our 2008.

how can you?

2008-01-18T07:50:00.000+08:00

How can a person filled with the holy spirit not be a impact?

How can you having Christ in your heart...not leave major footrprints in HIStory?

How can you having Christ in your spirit..not encounter and touch lives yet not change lives?

How can you being the Child of the Highest..not face problems unhindered?

How can you...you Child of God not fulfill your destiny?

selah.

Oprah had a dream.

2008-01-17T15:41:00.000+08:00

While our dear Britney is on the news - again.

just right below the article about Britney's latest antics (and I do pity her getting all this negative sensational news) is an article reporting Oprah Winfrey and the launch of her new tv network.

Go read today's Life! section, page two...

I like the caption of Oprah's photo on the paper.

"Talk show host Oprah Winfrey had dreamt of having a TV network 15 years ago."

it is a season to be dreaming. and oh dreams do come true. (:

RIP Pepper.

2008-01-17T04:56:00.000+08:00

Pepper's my furry companion in office.
and today He has departed to be with the other furry ones up there...

Dang, i'm quite sad la... my favourite companion is office has died.

i miss his beady eyes staring at me while i'm typing my minutes....
i miss how one moment he stares at whatever im doing and then falling asleep at another moment...

had a rough day yesterday..and then found out Pepper has passed out

but it's good la, he's finally found rest after fighting a month long skin disease....

i miss talking to him..haha.. yes, in office it's quite lonely one leh..haha..

i miss praying for his well being...

i miss the noise he makes running on his wheel and the noisy way he drink from his bottle...

i'll miss Pepper la...

He was a nice pet....i doubt i'l get another hamster anytime soon...

heart wrenching mans...

God is not nice.

2008-01-15T14:32:00.000+08:00

God is not nice...ohh He is NOT!

Pray tell me why should God be nice?

is God nice to me?

I've been severely corrected just now.

God is not nice.

because how can daddyGod be nice to things that harm me?

how can daddyGod be nice to enemies attacking me?

how can MY DADDYGOD be nice to things distract me from my call and destiny.

GOD CANNOT BE NICE.

NO NO NO NOO...NEVER!

God isn't nice to bad things.

but God is good.

daddyGod is good i tell you..

daddyGod isn't always nice to me. He corrects me.

Like just now. He corrected my thoughts.

I was thinking about how in the blue earth am I supposed to finished up my project???

and I calmly devised plans on what to do next...or did I?

Nooo, my thoughts were focused on the deadline...and honestly, for the longest time ever.. I began to worry...

and then there was a card, a really old card written to me, and these words popped out at me,
"Don't be so absorbed with yourself - What you can or cannot do"

and then a voice spoke - not loudly.. but to me, it was loud to my ego.

"Stop being so absorbed with yourself, Immanuel"

yep, I was corrected. and I was glad.

I remember countless times I've been corrected. So many times...

and it was a nasty feeling to me....not just a blow to my ego...but it just felt terrible.

but just now, I was corrected, like knock knock to my soul..."hello, wake up?"

At first, I was stunned, a familar sinking feeling manifested. Correction - a blow to deflate my ego....

I wanted to cry - but I can't... (remember? my tear glands are on constant strikes)

I felt dumb...really dumb...

it took a momentm just a tiny weeny moment.

I was glad. Yes, I still felt stupid and my ego was crushed to bits.

but I was glad. Sure, God wasn't nice to me at that point of time..

How could He? I was running amock with pride!!

Worrying to me is one of the hardest form of pride I've faced.

and God didn't hesitate - He spoke and I stood corrected.

"Stop. Being so absorbed with yourself" BANG - ego fell.

and I WAS GLAD. Glad to be corrected, because after that, such a inexplainable peace fell. and it was quiet inside - no noise, no worry, nothing...just stillness.

I was loved, and I stood speechless embraced by the father.

and I knew God wasn't nice for my benefit.

He couldn't be nice to my enemies - if not why would He promise a seven way defeat for them?

He couldn't be nice to distractions - He has called me and He would allow anything to come between Him and me.

He couldn't be nice to me at that point of time - being self-absorbed takes my eyes of the Savior, He couldn't allow fig leaves to cover me again. no, He wants me to see His grace once more.

God is not nice, but He is surely Good.

like Aslan - a type of Christ, Christ isn't 'safe', Gosh, my Jesus is the LION of Judah! Sure, He is NOT safe, not nice...(He de-toothed satan..not safe or nice for sure..) but He is surely good.

He is love. love is discernment.

Think again when you say God is 'nice'...He is not.

(: let me get absorbed with you daddyGod.. who cares about the storms?

pause and selah.

2008-01-15T05:50:00.000+08:00

well,
tomorrow's the presentation.

and I'm not done with
my project. (much less started on anything major)

so
I'm working on at tightest deadline ever. a few hours.

and
I need a miracle. I do. but I know this whole 'tight deadline' thing is
my mistake.

shucks, missed the mark again. how Lord?

romans
8 28. and romans 8 1.

I'm a Arrow that hits the
mark. nothing short of that.

selah, renew my mind
daddyGod. you love me so much.

lava lamp!

2008-01-14T14:38:00.000+08:00

today I observed something really cool!

first I got a LAVA LAMP!!! so cool!! I've always wanted a lava lamp!!

and I got one for Christmas! thanks to my Convenant Bro...Thanks Asher!

I've finally setup the lamp on my desk, after my room was packed neatly, I found a sweet spot to place the lamp..and I turned on the power...

anndd WOW!!

nothing happened!! the lamp had a cool glow..but no lava effect!!

so I waited...

and waited...

and waited...

AND!! nothing happenned...

(so anti-climax...haha...)

but as I was looking through some emails....

blurp!

guess what?? the red glob at the bottom burst! and small globs started bubbling up!!

and like a can of coke popped opened...a steady stream of 'lava' started flowing...

like almost immediately! (:

and a revelation popped as well...

"It only takes a spark to get the fire burning.."

sometimes I observed 'cold-starts' in my life...

nothing ever happens...no progress...nothing extraordinary happens..

I get pushed around... I get left behind...life's mundane...everything's just 'liddat lor'...

but I meet Jesus... I happen to attend a Arrow service...

and the light is on...

I feel a warm sensation inside...

the fuzzy wuzzy warm warm fizzy feeling...

my heart get ignited for Jesus...and...

nothing happens...

I'm still me...Iife's still 'liddat lor'...

I still go back to school..to work...nothing out of the ordinary occurs..

but the warmth remains..the fire still burns...

but I don't find myself doing anything else but what I've been doing for the past 20 years...

but slowly things get different.. what I'm doing produces fruit...

and I realise suddenly life takes a surprising turn... nothing spectacular... but something special happens... and the red glob burst.. hahaha..

and life becomes an upward elevation.. (:

like a lava lamp! (: hahaha..

randomness is the new order.

thankful.

2008-01-13T18:58:00.000+08:00

and I'm outta the comfort zone.

and it's the adventure camp experience..

disorientated and unsure of what might happen next...

but it's been a smooth transition...

so smooth and so welcomed.

and lucas, you are a gem to me. i can never ever express how much you've been a blessing and impact in my life. those few words like the last message you sent to me before my enlistment, meant so so much to me. I'll never forget you mans.. I'll never forget your brotherhood you have with me.... we are kingdon allies man...

and the rest of you precious people back there..
-you've been the wind beneath my wings, a lasting encouragement to me... I'll really miss you all

daddyGod, thankyou...thankyou for fulfilling what's in my heart. for giving me a platform...

you've given me a dream, and you've set your heart to show me that reality of that dream. I love you Lord, because amidst this crazy world..You've kept me..

In this crazy world, you are my sanity. my shalom.

thankyou for being personal, personal with my life, personal with my dreams.

you are a personal God.

you personally love me. personally came down to save me.

and the new family, thankyou for celebrating me. (:

thankyou i feel like a new born baby.. hahaha.. (:

and 2008 is a year of manifested blessings.

and to me 2008 would be the year of thanksgiving. my lips shall praise you Lord. thankyou. (:

my dreams.

2008-01-12T16:35:00.000+08:00

oh boy, after typing my last entry...I can't help but 'pen' this down!

oh boy, small or big it doesn't matter.. daddyGod I know you hear me!!

what do I dream about.

i dream to one day make a moving film about Jesus. (think The Passion of Christ 2..)

i dream to be a teacher one day. one that coaches while teaching.

i dream of climbing Mt. Kinabalu and then Mt. Everest.

i dream of reaching the stars while at the submit of the mountain.

i dream of attending a gospel conference as cool as Hillsong conference.

I dream of ministering to thousands.

I dream of praying for the sick and seeing them healed.

I dream of seeing papa go to church.

I dream of playing in a christian concert.

I dream of graduating from my Advanced Dip class and subseqently a degree course.

I dream of wearing that square hats and flowing robe...

I dream of getting married to a God blessed lady

I dream of travelling around the world, with a backpack! (:

I dream of being able to bake.

I dream of being a champion father

I dream of seeing Jesus face to face.

I dream of getting a job that I'll really really enjoying doing. (:

I dream that I get to see all of the above come to pass... (:

selah. (:

Singapore Dreaming? na, Jesus Dreaming.

2008-01-12T14:01:00.000+08:00

Yeap, with all pun intended. I rather do the Jesus dreaming.

It's been a week filled with the theme of dreaming...

I look back at a very old entry in my old block.. [More Than Life - part two.]

and I like that part of the entry..

"dreaming is a child's gift.."

We can dream because we're children of God...

Have you seen a aged man who's life had been dealt blows by circumstances and time?
Have you taken a look in his eyes?

I have.

I see cynical eyes, eyes which grew dull to beauty.
I see a harden face and harden heart.
I see a hope lost, absent from his very being.

Does the man dream? I guess He once did, but not anymore...

It's painful not to dream anymore...and though this sounds like a oxymoron - it's painful to be numb.

I testify.

I testify that 2007 has been a year that I've dreamt most.

I remember writing notes in my 'prayer pouch' - the dreams I hope to see come to past...

I had been let down many many times... and mostly let down by people I love, even let down by myself...

but I dreamt on. I wanted so much to believe despite my unbelief.

and it is hard. i'm not downplaying the pains of trying to relight the dying flames of dreams once alive..I know the pain and helplessness.

but I wanted to believe - that God can make miracles happen.

so I continued to dream..to see in my mind's eye what I want to see with my eyes...though I felt that what I'm dreaming about now, will forever just remain as - a dream.

dreams trapped in the ethereal realm of fantasy.

but God is faithful. - not just in statement of fact.
daddyGod is faithful - i testify experientially that He is.

I dreamt big dreams in 2006 and 2007.
I dreamt many many dreams in 2007.

and they have come to pass.
the vision in my mind's eye. - is reality.

really. It's either the dreams come to pass as what I dreamt or it become better.

I like to say this..

"I wanted a bicycle. God gave me a Lamborghini..." (:

I was talking to daddyGod about this in the bus on the way back.

"daddy...I've dreamt many dreams. many are big dreams. and all the dreams you've fulfilled.
doesn't this apply even for the small itsy bitsy dreams? It does right? Because I know you're faithful..."

then it dawned on me.

It DOESN'T matter is there are big dreams or small...

I mean you get big things with big dream...but even the small dreams get supersized in daddyGod's hands!!

some people fear dreaming or have a stigma from dreaming, because they either think that the dreams are too small and insignificant, or they just feel that these dreams will never come to pass. I used to be like that.

so we say this inside our hearts:

so what's the point of dreaming big..if the small dreams aren't even worth mentioning.

what's the point of dreaming, when they'll never come to pass anyway.

but oh man oh man!! If only we knew that size doesn't matter. because WE matter more than the size of dream.

daddyGod delights in hearing our dreams. If only we would tell Him la.. (:

to the one who's dreams 'small' - daddyGod promises that He'll super abundantly exceed whatever we dream.

to the one who's afraid to dream - daddyGod says it's alright, I'll listen to your dream. I will not condemn or ridiculate you.

Dreaming is a gift of a child.

Big dreams...out of this world dreams... We see this in children don't we...

Ever had a chat with a kid lately?

Hear them talk about their dreams...

They don't even consider the 'odds' and possibility of the dreams ever coming to pass.

but they boast about it....they dreamt even bigger.

without any consideration, they dreamt - with a conviction that somehow somewhat it'll happen.

"one day I'll be a fireman, one day I'll earn big bucks

one day I'll walk on the moon!"

well that's before we encounter things called - "Rationale and Logic"

can we dream with a conviction?

can we dream like it'll happen?

I really think we can...

I really believe one day I can walk on the moon.

I really really believe miracles happen.

Because daddyGod is faithful - He'll finish what He started in me.

Dreams are Godly seeds for whatever will happen in reality.

If God planted a dream in my heart. He cause the dream to sprout and come to pass. (:

I believe.

I believe I can walk on the moon and touch the stars. Because DaddyGod loves me.

selah. (:

miss them!

2008-01-12T07:21:00.000+08:00

haha... I can't believe it..

I have the withdrawal symptoms!! I miss TP CG!!!

haha.. oh my oh my...

remember.

2008-01-11T09:47:00.000+08:00

if you are discouraged.

if you can't decide what to do.

if you are disappointed and at your wits end.

don't fret.

just remember.
you may not feel like doing the 'religious' routines.
you may not feel like praying or turning on the sermon or listening to anything but emo music.

just remember.

remember that your daddyGod is good.
to you.

remember romans 828...

and even if you've forgotten...

let someone remind you that...

..that Jesus loves you. (:

don't isolate yourself.

remember.

remember the rainbow.

Genesis 9:13-16
I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth. And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud:

And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.
And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.

and before the blessings of Deu 28..

Thou shalt not be afraid of them: but shalt well remember what the LORD thy God did unto Pharaoh, and unto all Egypt; - Deu 7:18

And God heard their groaning, and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.
And God looked upon the sons of Israel, and God knew them. Exo 2:24-25

remember, because He remembers.

i know you remember

iron sharpens iron

2008-01-08T17:00:00.000+08:00

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.

You know what...I thank God for multiply.com

because it's one of the many places where I get the iron sharpening experience.

I read many many anointed and real blog entries and I'm just so edified by them. I know daddyGod is at work in multiply.

I have this to say, It's actually quite a blessing to have so many anointed and real bloggers in my network... Like a man of God once told me.. "It's takes the deep to draw the deep" Reading your entries draw the anointing in me as well.

It doesn't take a 'sermon' to edify, it take a real entry, an entry filled with the boldness of God and the love of God to edify.

I like what I read on your blogs. sometimes just short sentences can speak volumes. not because of the words.. not just because you typed the words..but simply because daddyGod is involved in the entry.. I read about His goodness and I'm ministered by Him as well at the very moment.

Sharing real things on multiply is a bold thing to do. It's about letting go of flesh and depend wholly on daddyGod.It's by His blood and the word of our testimony that we overcome. Being real sets people free, because it relates to them and there is the Christ element - the truth that breaks bondages and sets people free..

A real entry on the blog can do wonders.

It's about sharing your portion.

I believe the different people receive different portions from daddyGod.

why? I know my daddyGod is personal.

daddyGod know who needs what and takes His time to talk to us and give to us what we individually need.

we are not mass-produced robots, same goes for daddyGod's blessings and grace. they are not generic mass given out products.

rather daddyGod takes His time to craft a beautiful blessing just for you. like the clouds in the sky. He makes new shapes for you everyday. daddyGod get personal when it comes to blessing you.

and we experience these personal moments and we write about them, we testify of His goodness. we share our personal blessings with others.

what I receive from daddyGod may not be what you receive from daddyGod.

like the recent adventure camp. I believe everyone took a different part of camp home.

some shared about the pain and inconvenience of camp and how lessons were learnt from it.
some shared about the awesome campfire.
some shared about their personal encounter with the Lord.
some shared about how daddyGod blessed them in the camp.

you see, it's all personal, it's about YOUR experience WITH the Lord.

and when you share about your portion, we get a taste of that portion as well.

That's true fellowship, the 'exchange' of portions, the dividing of plunder.

"Benjamin is a ravenous wolf. In the morning he devours his prey. In the evening he divides the plunder." [Genesis 49:27]

We are ravenous wolves, we hunger for the things of daddyGod, and we feed on His word with a ravenous appetite.

but we don't just feed till we're fat.

We feed, so as to feed others.

The dividing of plunder. Sharing, testimony, blogging about His goodness..

We share because we have. We feed others because we are fed.

everytime you blog or share or testify, you share your 'plunder' to us!

see it yet? that's the iron sharpening iron experience.

"so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend"

your sharing makes me 'look good'.... you sharpen my countenance. I look better!

everytime there's fellowship among the brethen. there is sharpening.

a commentary rendered the verse like this: "as iron delighteth in iron, so a man rejoiceth the countenance of his friend"

in fellowship we rejoice together. (:

so be encouraged to share even more, to be real and edified.

keep the great anointed blog post coming! (:

yum! (:

Saviour.

2008-01-08T10:31:00.000+08:00

something I stumbled upon when doing research for my project.

"The Huaorani believe the animals of their forest have a spiritual as well as physical existence. They believe that when one dies he walks a trail to the afterlife which has a large python in waiting. Those among the dead who cannot escape the python fail to enter the domain of dead spirits and return to Earth to become animals, often termites.

This underlies a peculiar mix of practices that recognize and respect animals, but do not shield them from harm for human use. Huaroani who become Christians believe that God sent his son to experience death and walk the trail and encounter the python for them."

from Wikipedia - The Waodani

Though primitive, I like how these tribe people liken the act of the cross to the meeting terror of their culture as an sacrifice.

I like how they phrase it... "The Son of God walked the trail and encountered the python for us"

Isn't it like how the bible phrases it?

About Jesus entering though the veil into the Holy of Holies for us. [Hebrews 6:19]

or about how Pastor Prince revealed what Jesus did though the story of the garden of Eden, the part where Jesus took the flaming sword of the Cherubim upon himself.

Wow interesting mans.. (:

Even primitive tribes-men believe in our Saviour. I have a really cool and diverse family. haha. (:

Reflections on Adventure Camp (Part 2!)

2008-01-07T12:00:00.000+08:00

another delayed post...I had this in my drafts for quite sometime now...I've been updating this here and there...

I really wanted to post this up...now just to document my camp experience.. but to share my own 'take-aways' (as Pris calls it) with the rest of you all...

This post documents pretty much everything I experienced at camp, but if you’re the skimpy reader just read the words in blue... it’s the ‘takeaway’ part..or at least stuff really memorable to me..haha... (:

****
Woo... so much inside.. I have to type them out...

I ended at the nightwalk...but there still so much to type about it...

I remember Brook Besor...I remember the station that we had to repeat three times... It was also one of the most discouraging moments of the cg... it was dark and the faces of some of my comrades were blacker...

We couldn't balance for more than 5 seconds.... and thus we repeated the station for another three times..

Just as I was about to give up...(I helped with the side of the See-saw till by back ached like mad..) the comm people told us we just restart one last time without the balancing part... I grined and Praised God in my heart..finally we can finish this!!

We finished the see-saw mine field thingy..and found out there's a mock IPPT station!!! ahh!!! (i thought it was like IPPT la..hahaha..)

This station wasn't much of a challenge because prolly I suffered much worse at BMT...but my heart ached looking at the horrified looked at the ladies... one broke down and cried...wah lao.. that really made my heart sink la..haha...

But I like the part when I ran when Ethel, then Esther, then finally did the final round with Yong An...we did the final sprint and woo... we're done!!

****
After the road march...we got back to campsite and had a chance to sleep the afternoon! (tho I was scorched like woo~ turkey)

now this is the portion where the ugly side of us surfaced... we all know how that turned out...
I echo the thoughts of Coach Jo and Sam.... But I also felt thankful the these emotions and 'flesh' surfaced... I thank God that they were brought to light, so that the leadership can address it...

My heart ached knowing that I was also guilty of rough play... but it's also from this game that I found my most supernatural godly friend which I asked daddyGod to give me at this camp...

Alvin (SP caregroup)...thankyou...thankyou for that thankyou note... I didn't know those simple words were so powerful to you...thankyou for being so real with me..I know this is just a beginning of a powerful brotherhood... (:

I've learnt some things from that game...

I echo the heart of Coach Jo about honour...something I grew up with... my Dad also taught me to retain honour above other things.."you lose you money or possessions, but don't lose honour" I thank God that Coach Jo reminded us men...about the importance of honour...

I've learnt the the game doesn't belong to the strongest or fastest...but to the one who trusts the Lord... I'm proud of Lucas who survived longest at the field...I'm proud of Josiah who ran for His dear 'life'...haha... What is it to win but lose yourself in the game? I've learnt again that winning isn't as important as the people around you...

I say this from the bottom of my heart.. I love you guys from Delta...really some of us were Bros before the game and We still are Bros after this 'nightmare'....

finally, Alvin shared with me this... Angry after being tackled badly by someone... I don't why I said this to Him...but I said.."Just Let Go"... and here's the irony he shared with me..

"at that point I recalled Pastor Lian say about letting go...although the theme of this camp is never let go... I realise that there are things to let go and things not to let go.."

I loved what He shared with me because that was what was burning in my heart...

Never Let Go is God's part.... Letting Go is our part!

Hebrews 12:1-2
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Let go of our weakness and flesh and let God hold us...

If you're constantly holding on to your works and God's holding to us...don't you think you'll be torn apart unless you let go?

Sometimes we hold on too much to what we CAN do and what we DESERVE...and we forget the Grace is actually UNDESERVED yet given.. so lets let go and Let God! (:

We can let Go because we are assured that HE will never let go.. (:

***
Fast forward everything..

Campfire night!

I must say this, I've conducted countless of campfires as a camp instructor and attended many campfires by NPCC as a staff officer. but I have NEVER participated in such an awesome campfire...

I've seen schools that have very jazzy campfires, got fireworks one..but I've never sat at campfire where the fireworks is in the heart...

thankyou worship team - Zenda, James, Alwin and Jen for making this campfire so happening.. esp our 'emcee' Zenda...thankyou I've always regarded you as a fun person..but your campfire hosting has blown my mind away...

amidst the crazy dances and forfeits.. I just feel such a sense of fellowship with the whole Arrow... the clusters didn't matter anymore..as far as I'm concerned..the whole Arrow became one family doing one dance, for one saviour... I've never felt any happier and crazier in my whole life...

The love of God just made my heart feel so warm... the flame of God's passion just burst into bigger flames.. I panned across the crowd and I saw this...

Comrades.

Warriors of God dancing to the victory song...

Jubilee.. We rejoice because we're free... The war is over.. lets PARTY!!

Such a sense of calling and kinship just burnt in my heart...

and I manage to have exactly three (3) tears rolling down my cheeks..haha.. I don't cry much.. But I'm just so moved by daddyGod la... He gave me a huge family to be with, to be celebrated with.. how can I not be moved?

that night I worship my God...that night I was embraced by my heavenly Father..that night I was romanced by the love of my soul..

I truly enjoyed the campfire..especially when Pastor was sharing and He introduced a really old hymn.. I think it's called "How Excellent Your Name" or something..

This was the defining moment for me... I knew I had a destiny.. I looked up to the sky.. I knew this..

He who flung the stars to their place, will put me in the right place, right time as well...for me to fulfill my destiny. (:
****

And then there was the last day.. and the first and only 'service' of Adventure camp...

The first thing me and my cg guys did was to rush to the washroom...

I'm not particularly fond of public toilets..but anywhere is better than Sarimbun's toilets...haha..

Finally there was good food and aircon! I really loved the tea break's spread... Tarts and everything nice and sweet.. hallelujah!!!!

I missed lunch because I was busy with writing thankyou notes... and I wrote like crazy la...

so many people made this Adventure camp so special... without these people..really camp would have been such a different experience...and I can testify that without them camp wouldn't be so fun.. (:

and I didn't expect thankyou notes from some people...

but I'm uber touch by those who did la...haha... It's not about boosting of ego...

rather...recieving the notes humbled me...and made me feel so loved by daddyGod..

especially the notes from Alvin (sp) and Alvin (tp) and yeah the unexpected one from summer ! (aka Wei Xuan) who was beside me while I was busy scribbling..haha..

the praise and worship was very real...haha hyped as it may be... it was a very real session... we're not jumping to any tune...not dancing to any beat...

We're dancing to heavenly beats..to a heavenly friend..a heavenly lover... I just know that He is beside me jumping and singing and laughing... That day..we worshipped.. we may not have the romantic stars and moon...but that day we truly worshipped..in spirit and in truth...

and the windows of heaven openned upon us...

After Pastor Benjamin fed us...He anointed us...

This was another defining moment for me...

I hardly cry... not during minstering..not even when people hurt me... I long to cry sometimes but my tear glands seem to boycott me...

that day it was no different... I didn't cry... (not like I think crying is so important)

that day I expressed a different emotion.. I smiled. I laughed silently....

God gave me a dream a long time ago...and He brought up that dream again...and assured me.. that He has not forgotten. (:

and when Pastor anointed me on my forehead.. daddyGod just whispered this in my heart..

It is sealed.

Like the red tape we put on envelopes which contain high sensitive and confidential documents..

daddyGod liken the anointing to a seal.

and He said

"NO ONE CAN STEAL THE DREAM I'VE PLACED IN YOUR HEART."

Everything that was imparted in camp... the training period..the laying of hands..the fellowship and the friends...

It is sealed by the Holy spirit.. it's protected..

no demon from hell...no enemy..no creature can rob us of the good things we recieved from camp...

Because you see the oil on your forehead? God has marked and sealed you..

I belong to Him. No one can take me away...

and when we were dismissed, I left the overflow room with such a security... even till today.. I'm sure that God is keeping me and my dreams safe.

very safe.

an empty office.

2008-01-07T05:21:00.000+08:00

this is a day i thought I'll never see...

a day in an empty office.

I have some work to finish up, a project to rush and an exam to study for...and everyone else is on leave. away at Shanghai...haha...wah lao!

thankyou daddyGod for the empty office, for the peace and quiet and the shalom presence...

an empty office isn't so bad after all...there's so much freedom..haha..

8 hours more....and I'm back home..

Lord, maximise this time I have now an let today be so fruitful (:

amen.

btw, anyone game for a coffee? message me..haha I don't mind dropping down to have coffee and fellowship! (:

I love fellowship, yesterday was a good session. (:

selah. (sigh)

2008-01-05T17:42:00.000+08:00

daddydaddy, thankyou Lord, today's message was so so apt.

especially the last few minutes of the sermon... not much about what was in the sermon was but what you confirmed in my heart from the sermon...

I refer to my previous blog entries (and what I got to share with my precious fellowshippers from sp), it's amazing how the same shades of meaning is found at the last part of Pastor's sermon... it's like daddyGod you're reminding me not to give up...

and I got it!! I got a revolutionising revelation!

my heart leaped and did a 360` spin...it danced and cheered, I remembered who is holding on to me. I remember how close I am to His heart and how loudly I can hear His heart beat.

I can dream dreams and see visions.

and I can let go of condemnation and not let it blur my vision.

I know I'm in His arm, He'll never let go.

just when the revelation sinked down, the enemy got ready to attack.

and soon an incident happen to get me condemned. like so fast, the enemy saw my face light up, the change in my countenance and initated an attack to stop a miracle from happenning. if the enemy can't steal my blessing (I managed to come Arrow today!) that he'll just attempt to steal my joy amd deter me from enjoying the blessing.

and when I got home. things just seem to fire at me. I'm just glad to come back home without any poking comments. but then the peace didn't last till something happenned that got my blood to boil. I got really really angry that I had to hide myself in the room, and pray in tongues. I didn't want temper to flare and especially not from me.

but right now, in front of my computer. as I type this...daddyGod just ministers to me.

He defended me from every attack, severe as it might have been..daddyGod is just so good.

as I came back, I was listening to this sermon. "Your Daddy God Is Fond of You" by Pastor Joshua.

and I've listened to this sermon alot of times...but something Pastor said that is currently ministering to me.

"God is Love, and If God cease to love, God ceases to be God.

It takes the holy spirit to know God's love and God's love will set you free."

selah indeed.

I know God loves me. the cross is the physical prove of His love for me.

but right now, though I don't see the old rugged cross in front of me.

I realise this. God is MY God. and thus God is MY love.

I feel love knowing that God choose to be MY God by loving me.

I am a choice that is undeserving.

did I deserve to be loved? no, but I'm comforted to know that I am.

thankyou Lord, I can't find any bit of condemnation now. your love purges all poison.

(:

selah.

two and one is tuhwee.

2008-01-04T13:57:00.000+08:00

if His hands hold mine. should this hands continue sinning?

would the hands held by a holy God be used for unholy purposes?

and if this hands were fall to undesirable deeds. would the God holding them ever let go?

such is grace.

he never lets go.

would this hands stray?
they might.

would nail pierced hands stray?
never.

(and they still here, holding my hands.)

daddyGod, I never want this hands to be used for any other purpose but yours.

this hands would perform miracles and heal the sick. this hands would write beautiful stories, craft beautiful films, strum beautiful songs.

daddyGod this hands are yours. so is this heart.